Directed by James Burkhalter, "There Will Be GLiTTER" is a poetic-performative documentary about Gettysburg College's GLBTQ population and its ALLiES. The movie tackles everyday issues, such as the search for spirituality, stereotyping, and romantic relationships.
Unfortunately, hundreds of hours of video footage didn't make it into the final cut. This blog is designed to share deleted and extended interview responses.
Well, I guess it would be nice
If I could touch your body
I know not everybody
Has got a body like you (Ohh!)
But I've gotta think twice
Before I give my heart
I know all the games you play
Because I play them too
Ohh, but I need some time off
From that emotion
Time to pick my heart up off the floor...
Brett: I think having taught the Queer Eye on America course, I was thinking deeply about how mass media creates and reflects certain stereotypes. One of the things I was really struck by was how there's a very narrow definition of what it means to be gay in America, which seems to be coming out of film and television.
I think of our own alum, Carson Kressley (Class of '91), and I think about how he and shows like Queer Eye and Will & Grace create this very narrow definition. To be fair, I think it happens for every sexual orientation, except for maybe transsexual or transgender, which is an orientation--it's a lot of identity politics.
We just have these very narrow slots for what you can be, so if you're a lesbian, you've got to be butch (not femme) because that way, you're not messing up everybody's radar. And if you're gay, if you don't look like a New York urbanite, then Oh My God, How dare you be slightly overweight or How dare you be a Bear or a Cub! Or how dare you be... anything that doesn't work within people's traditional parameters.
It's amazing to me how people are so simplistic and they get rid of the beauty of the complexity of the individual.
To this day, Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss is still one of my all-time favorite GLBT movies, after Mambo Italiano, To Wong Foo, D.E.B.S, and The Broken Hearts Club, of course. Although I do find it strange that Sean Hayes, the title character, has deflected all questions about his sexual orientation. I suppose, after playing a flamboyantly gay character on Will & Grace, he doesn't want to be typecast in only that sort of role.
In his own words, "Being an actor, the less people know about my personal life, the more open-minded they can be about each role I play." I respect that, so long as he remains an ally to the GLBTQ community; but still, we're hard-pressed to find openly gay role models in A-List Hollywood.
And the two friends I was referring to are Janelle and Alexis. Janelle and I have been close friends since elementary school, bonded together by the fact that we were the only two black kids living in Pasadena. My coming out only brought us closer; she had figured it out years ago and was very supportive. We still talk, she was the first to write essay responses for my project, and last night I helped "Nelly" move her girlfriend into a new apartment. Unfortunately, Alexis didn't take it as well as I had hoped, and she and I have lost touch in the past couple of years. She married her high school sweetheart in Hawaii over the summer, and I wish them all the best.
UPDATE: Sean Hayes openly discusses his sexuality for the first time ever in the April 2010 issue of The Advocate!
Becky:Yeah, definitely. We always go. It's a lot of fun. Gwen:Every year. Kat:Yep.
Jimmy:I'm definitely going to the Gender Bender Dance.
Lyndsey:I do.
Megan:I do plan to, it sounds like it's going to be a lot of fun.
Are you going to dress as the opposite gender?
Renny:Me and my girlfriend are going to switch clothes.
Megan:I plan to, I ordered these really awesome rainbow pants that have rainbow stars on them.
Lyndsey:No, unfortunately not. It's right after work and I get off at 9:30 so I'm just gonna head over after work.
DeLue:Yeah, I think I'll dress up.
Alex:I will not be dressing up. James:...Any reason why? Alex:Because I like pants! (laughter)
Bryan:I really want to, I hope I have time to get some stuff together. It should be fun.
Gwen:Yes, of course! Kat:Yeah, why wouldn't we? 'Cause half the fun is dressing up. Becky:And we try to one-up ourselves every year. Gwen:Makes me worry about senior year. Kat:I know, we really can't top what we have planned for this year. Gwen:No. (laughter)
Travis:I kind of get freaked out by drag queens.
Jimmy:Um, sort of. I've got a lot of stuff this week, so I'm just gonna wear this little sign here that says, "THESE BE GIRL CLOTHES," with this little Commie Pirate Drag Queen on it.
(Playing ♫ We Are Rockstars ♫ by Does That Offend You, Yeah?)
Jaimie: From the beginning, the response to the Gender Bender Dance--Most of the ALLiES members were very supportive, but a few were hesitant because the Gender Bender Dance was a compromise and they really wanted a Drag Show. In general, over the course of all four years, attendance has been pretty high. It has ranged from over 100 people in our most recent year to about 300, which we had our first year.
We get people to challenge gender roles a little bit and to be more comfortable with other ways of living, if only for one night. People also get the chance to meet ALLiES and just have a really good time. I think people have a lot of fun at this event, and I hope that we can put it on for several years after I've graduated.
Katelin:This summer, I had an internship up in New York City at Northwestern Mutual. It was a pretty corporate environment. I couldn't really feel like I could be myself; I needed to wear my girly dress pants and some kind of feminine top--as much as I could get because I wasn't going extreme. It took away a part of me, I felt when I was there. I wasn't able to actually express who I was and what I'm about necessarily.
Every night when I got home, I threw them in the closet as quickly as I could, got on my bull shorts, my "No Bitchassness" Sean John T-shirt, some sneakers, and just go out, go down to the Village, or wherever I might end up going, so I could try and be myself.
It really does take a lot away from you when you can't express yourself as who you actually are and have to form yourself to fit into a corporate environment. Being of a more masculine gender, you can't do that in Corporate America. That's one of the things I found out that I need to work on before I can get myself ready for the job market and find an appropriate place for me to go.
Miranda:A long a time ago, in Bitnia--that's in Asia Minor--there was a man who had a daughter named Mary. And one day this man's wife passed away. And he told Mary, "Listen, I want to renounce all worldly things, enter a monastery, and end my life there." And Mary wanted to go with him, but she couldn't because she was a girl and they didn't allow girls in the monastery obviously. But she persisted. So her father had her hair shaved and she dressed up like a boy and went with him. And there she took the name, Marina.
Miranda:She stayed there a number of years and she gathered a lot of learning. She had a reputation for being very obedient and pious and doing lots of good work like healing people. Therefore, one day the Abbot sends Marina to an inn. The innkeeper's daughter, who's already pregnant by some other soldier, blames her pregnancy on Marina.
When her father, the Innkeeper, finds out, he's furious and he goes to the monastery and tells the Abbot, "Look! This monk who's supposedly so pious , he impregnated my daughter!" "What kind of establishment are you running here?" is basically what he says. The Abbot is also furious and he summons Marina and asks him to explain himself. And Marina simply throws himself on the ground and says, "Forgive me, I have committed a horrible transgression." The Abbot kicks him out of the monastery; Marina waits outside the gate and just sets up there.
After the baby is born, the Innkeeper comes and just deposits the baby in front of him and says, "This is the product of your wickedness! Go ahead and raise it!" And Marina does.
Marina's out there for three years. And the monks are very sorry to see their comrade, Marina, out there. They go to the Abbot and say, "How can we just walk right by him without taking pity on him? This is horrible. Let him back in! This has just been too much punishment." The Abbot lets Marina back in. Marina returns to the monastery with the baby and she remains there for the rest of her life. And eventually, she passes away.
When her body is being prepared for burial, they undress the corpse and find out that she's a woman. And they're very amazed and shocked by this. Immediately, the Abbot begs God for forgiveness. He summons the Innkeeper and says, "Look! Your daughter could not have been made pregnant by this man because this man is NOT a man!" The Innkeeper is also very repentant.
So, everything gets sorted out. And Marina, or Mary, is buried with all respect and honor in the monastery.
Yes, I'm one of those people who had the pleasure of meeting Bill back in 2005, when he was not only in the closet but homophobic. Like most people, I knew he was gay the moment we met but when I learned that he wasn't anywhere close to coming out, I didn't really try to be his friend. After some humiliating experiences with "closet cases," I found it best to simply avoid them altogether, especially if they poke fun at gays in order to affirm their heterosexuality. Along with the older ALLiES members, I was happy to put the past behind us and welcome Bill into the group during our senior year; he has become extremely comfortable with his sexuality, and I'm proud of him for being honest with himself and everyone else.
I understand Bill's predicament; for most of us, our families have acted as barriers, preventing us from coming out to everyone. In my house, my father didn't show much hostility towards gay people; he just had the attitude that they didn't really exist and if they did, they only lived in segmented parts of urban areas like NYC. Coming from a socially and politically conservative family, I can imagine that he's had a much harder time gaining full acceptance from them. To this day, he still identifies as a die-hard Republican, and I would chock that up to family influence.
Mark: It doesn't say on my FaceBook profile outright that I like men, but it says it in my Music likes. So if people actually want to know more about me, they would read my profile.
James: Wait, what did you say?
Mark:It says in my Music likes, pretty much. Because I like Britney Spears. And a lot of female pop artists. (laughs) But if people ask, I will tell them about my sexuality and I won't deny my sexual orientation.
I believe that the gay community might be better off if we don't shove it down people's throats because this would allow the Religious Right and other homophobic people more time to gradually adjust. So if they get to know us first as people, rather than as the stereotypes being promoted like in San Francisco where they have all sorts of Pride Parades. For some people, that's all they know about gays.
So it'd be nice if they got to know us before they found out about our sexual orientation.
Bill:OK, so my Coming Out was a little bit later than most people's. I didn't come out until I was 20. It was the end of my sophomore year of college.
I think I've known that I was gay probably since I was 7th grade, because I just kinda knew I liked boys. But I never really want to admit it to myself because I didn't want to be different. And I was also raised in a homophobic household where my dad constantly told me that gay people were less than everyone else, so I didn't want to be apart of that.
So I just repressed it within me until I came to college, at the end of my sophomore year. I first came out to one of my friends here and told her. I said, "I think I'm gay." And she goes, "Yeah... I've known that since I met you. HAVE YOU MET YOU? It's pretty obvious that you are!" So I was like, "Alright."
And I learned to accept myself pretty quickly, so I was happy with that. How I realized I was gay? I had a guy friend who was just my friend but I realized that, to me, he was more than a friend. I was really attracted to him. ...Nothing ever happened but it did get me to Come Out.
On the Gettysburg campus, a lot of people think that it's a really homophobic school but I haven't really had any problems. I'm out to all of my friends here. And I would say that I'm completely Out. If anyone ever asked me, I would always tell them. I don't just volunteer it... without there being a reason for me to tell somebody I'm gay usually. But I would say I'm totally Out.
At home... not so much. Both my parents know but they've asked me not to tell any other family members because, I guess, it'll embarrass them. So I haven't told any other family members.
So yeah, my Coming Out was definitely stressful because I knew it was going to be a tough issue at home. My mom's OK with it now, but for my dad, it's definitely tough for him. So I try to be understanding to the fact that he doesn't really accept it, but it's kinda hard.
I know why the world is smiling,
Smiling so tenderly,
It hears the same old story,
Through all eternity
During my senior year of high school, I found a movie called Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss, starring Sean Hayes a.k.a. "Jack" from Will & Grace. And I really enjoyed the movie--so much that it inspired me to come out to my two best friends at one of my Halloween parties.
Love, This is My Song
Here is a song,
A serenade to you
I showed them this clip of "The Tuxedo Dance" because I think it's one of the most romantic things I've ever seen on film.
The world cannot be wrong,
If in this world,
There is you.
Well, as you can see, I'm standing in what is now an Overflow Parking lot. In 2005, when I first arrived on the Gettysburg College campus, I was immediately told to report there, but back then it was the Marching Band's Practice Field. I'm pretty sure the College paved over it sometime in '08.
In high school, I had been a prominent member of various Bands as well as the Drama Club, and I cherished the feeling of camaraderie and community I found in those clubs. So it was only natural for me to stick with it when I went to college... even I though I had absolutely NO desire to be a Music major or become a professional Clarinetist. Nope, not for me.
I KNOW, Carson Kressley graduated from Gettysburg! How random is that? Haha, the sad thing is, aside from politician Ron Paul, Carson Kressley (Class of 1991) is the biggest celebrity to come out (literally!) of Gettysburg College. During my freshman year, the college even sponsored a field trip to attend a private NYC party hosted by their beloved Queer Eye guy; President Haley Will, Jaimie Schock ('09), and Hanna Ackerman ('09) were the lucky Gettysburgians in attendance. Apparently, the President got drunk and made an ass of herself at the event... to the shock and awe of ABSOLUTELY NO ONE.
About two months ago, I went back to Gettysburg for the 2009 Gay And Lesbian Alumni reception, hosted by ALLiES. While I was there I had the pleasure of finally meeting someone who had interacted with Carson Kressley during his stint at Gettysburg. His former classmate told us that while Carson was here, he was a quiet transfer student who kept to himself, was not out of the closet, and was not an advocate for Gay Rights. Unlike other people, I wasn't shocked or disappointed... because I had already done my homework eight months prior.
Back in February, I was looking through the SPECTRUM (Yearbook) Archives and I noticed that Carson was not in the 1991 ALLiES club photo... but y'see, that ALLiES photo did not exist! It was a different time, a different political/social climate, and I don't blame him for not being comfortable enough to come out as an openly gay man in college. And for whatever reason, ALLiES was temporarily unavailable and/or insufficient as a support system. As I learned very quickly, in its 24-Year history, ALLiES has always been like a rising phoenix; every 4 or 5 years the group dies out completely only to be resurrected years later by a voracious group of freshmen. In 2005, we were those freshmen.
The summer after high school I often daydreamed about how wonderful college would be, and how I could finally start over with a clean slate, and be 100% honest with my classmates from the very beginning. Undoubtedly, it was a rude awakening when I arrived in Gettysburg only to feel like the ONE gay person on the entire campus. My hometown of Pasadena is a moderately conservative area and yet I had AT LEAST six gay/bi friends in high school. I never imagined that a college campus with students from around the globe would have LESS. It made absolutely no sense to me, so Thank God I met Jai in my creative writing class. Had she not come up to me after hearing my story, The Object of Obsession, I wouldn't have known an on-campus gay community even existed. Back then, it was very underground... literally.
Hi, my name is James. I'm a Senior at Gettysburg College, and this is where our story begins--well, granted four years ago this wasn't a parking lot... but nevertheless, here we go.
I came to Gettysburg College from Pasadena, Maryland. The first thing I did when I got here was join the Marching Band; I had been playing for eight years. However, I was dismayed when I arrived to find that the last gay person to step foot here was Carson Kressley, of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy fame.
Dismayed by the lack of a Gay & Lesbian community here, I threw myself into my writing. After listening to one of my gayer stories, a friend named Jaimie Schock invited me to a meeting later that night. She told me to meet her in the Chapel and I had no idea why. I arrived and she led me down into the basement. And I had no idea where the hell we were going...
(Playing ♫ Over At The Frankstein Place ♫ by Alkaline Trio)
There's a light,
In the darkness of
Every bright life.
Hey, Everyone! It's James, the director of There Will Be GLiTTER, and I'd like to offer some Behind the Scenes Commentary on the finished product.
I had such a fun time designing the opening credits sequence! I remember, at the big premiere in Joseph Theater, the room was pulsing with electric anticipation: I'm very proud of the steady, stylistic climb throughout the Overture.
Surprisingly, the idea of placing a Rating card at the very beginning was a last-minute decision. I figured, I wanted to warn/prepare the audience in some way; I didn't want anyone to enter the movie cold. This is why each public screening was preceded by a short oral presentation. I'm a big fan of avant garde artwork, so I used a common strategy known as "defamiliarization," by taking conventional images and subverting them. Thus, the completely fabricated F Rating.
Still on the reflexivity kick, the camera countdown draws more attention to the medium. I wanted people to know that this is obviously a movie, which in hindsight, may not have been the best decision because it separates the viewer from the action. Mainly, the purpose of using that stock footage was purely stylistic. From concept to execution, my mission was to prove that documentaries could be just as stylish as narrative-driven features. I guess I'd describe my style as "neo-glam," a term borrowed from the Glam Rock Movement.
Ironically, the opening battlefield shots were actually the second-to-last shots of the entire shoot. They were definitely the easiest ones since they didn't require busy actors. The biggest obstacle was simply trying to not get arrested by the Gettysburg National Park police; after all, I was shooting various monuments without their permission. Whateva', I do what I WANT!
One special effect in particular, the color isolation, commonly referred to as "The Pleasantville Effect," was fun to create even though it was TE-DI-OUS. I added to effect to my arsenal after seeing a tutorial video at FinalCutKing.com. Overall, I am very pleased with the results. Fun Fact: That tracking shot from outside Albaugh House (then known as the ALLiES Theme House) really was my bedroom window.
Perhaps the most ironic thing about this opening sequence is that I CAN'T STAND that Christina Aguilera song--y'know, the one that says you're beautiful even though you're ugly and gay. >.< But even though I hate the original song, it's undeniable that "Beautiful" has become an anthem for the GLBTQ community. Personally, I've always been bitter about the song's success because the song itself was not aimed specifically at the GLBT community; the music video, on the other hand, prominently features a young gay couple. While browsing @ the iTunes Store, I fell in love with the 2009 "Beautiful" remix, retitled "You Are What You Are." I chose this song as the GLiTTER theme because Aguilera re-recorded the song, this time fully aware of the song/video's impact and importance to the GLBT community.
In terms of wardrobe, I was very particular about my outfit. After waiting two months for my sleeveless hoodie to arrive from 10Percent (aka Fabulous Gay HQ), I finally caved in, canceled the order, went to AMAZON and lo and behold, it arrived less than a week later. It was a perfect fit, and I love using the Pleasantville Effect to isolate the hoodie's bright teal trim.
It all ends with an homage to The Wizard Of Oz: the world around me becomes saturated with color as I jog past the Gettysburg College sign. It's definitely my favorite transition in the entire movie, but once again, it was a complex special effect. It may look simple, but that sequence is actually five cropped copies of the jogging sequence layered on top of each other, playing simultaneously. More than two hours were spent in the editing room trying to work out all the kinks in that 5-second segment.