Gay Guys, How Dare You Be Slightly Overweight! [Movie Transcript]

(Playing ♫ Faith ♫ by George Michael)

Well, I guess it would be nice
If I could touch your body
I know not everybody
Has got a body like you (Ohh!)

But I've gotta think twice
Before I give my heart
I know all the games you play
Because I play them too

Ohh, but I need some time off
From that emotion
Time to pick my heart up off the floor...

Brett: I think having taught the Queer Eye on America course, I was thinking deeply about how mass media creates and reflects certain stereotypes. One of the things I was really struck by was how there's a very narrow definition of what it means to be gay in America, which seems to be coming out of film and television.


I think of our own alum, Carson Kressley (Class of '91), and I think about how he and shows like Queer Eye and Will & Grace create this very narrow definition. To be fair, I think it happens for every sexual orientation, except for maybe transsexual or transgender, which is an orientation--it's a lot of identity politics.


We just have these very narrow slots for what you can be, so if you're a lesbian, you've got to be butch (not femme) because that way, you're not messing up everybody's radar. And if you're gay, if you don't look like a New York urbanite, then Oh My God, How dare you be slightly overweight or How dare you be a Bear or a Cub! Or how dare you be... anything that doesn't work within people's traditional parameters.

It's amazing to me how people are so simplistic and they get rid of the beauty of the complexity of the individual.

It Was A Risky Move... But It Paid Off [Movie Transcript]

Jaimie: From the beginning, the response to the Gender Bender Dance--Most of the ALLiES members were very supportive, but a few were hesitant because the Gender Bender Dance was a compromise and they really wanted a Drag Show. In general, over the course of all four years, attendance has been pretty high. It has ranged from over 100 people in our most recent year to about 300, which we had our first year.



We get people to challenge gender roles a little bit and to be more comfortable with other ways of living, if only for one night. People also get the chance to meet ALLiES and just have a really good time. I think people have a lot of fun at this event, and I hope that we can put it on for several years after I've graduated.

I Had To Dress More "Feminine" For Work [Movie Transcript]

(Playing ♫ Boys Wanna Be Her ♫ by Peaches)

The Boys Wanna Be Her,
The Girls Wanna Be Her...

Katelin: This summer, I had an internship up in New York City at Northwestern Mutual. It was a pretty corporate environment. I couldn't really feel like I could be myself; I needed to wear my girly dress pants and some kind of feminine top--as much as I could get because I wasn't going extreme. It took away a part of me, I felt when I was there. I wasn't able to actually express who I was and what I'm about necessarily.

Every night when I got home, I threw them in the closet as quickly as I could, got on my bull shorts, my "No Bitchassness" Sean John T-shirt, some sneakers, and just go out, go down to the Village, or wherever I might end up going, so I could try and be myself.

It really does take a lot away from you when you can't express yourself as who you actually are and have to form yourself to fit into a corporate environment. Being of a more masculine gender, you can't do that in Corporate America. That's one of the things I found out that I need to work on before I can get myself ready for the job market and find an appropriate place for me to go.

Everyone, Attack the Atheist! [Movie Transcript]

Jaimie: This one time I wore a pentacle, which is a star inside a circle, around my neck and two people who worked for my high school asked me if that meant I was Jewish! (laughter) And with derisive tones, as if because it meant I was Jewish, that was a bad thing. I'm like, "You're preparing to discriminate against me for being Jewish because I'm wearing a Wiccan pentacle?!"

And here, as an Atheist, I've felt things too. Every time I'll make a comment about--even trying to get religion on the table to discuss, especially religous affiliation in terms of Anti-Gay behavior/using The Bible for things--immediately, I'll be attacked for that. Without even saying anything negative, without even getting there, y'know? I wasn't even given the chance to say something negative! (laughter) So definitely, there is religous discrimination here.

The Adventures of Marina the Monk [Movie Transcript]

Miranda: A long a time ago, in Bitnia--that's in Asia Minor--there was a man who had a daughter named Mary. And one day this man's wife passed away. And he told Mary, "Listen, I want to renounce all worldly things, enter a monastery, and end my life there." And Mary wanted to go with him, but she couldn't because she was a girl and they didn't allow girls in the monastery obviously. But she persisted. So her father had her hair shaved and she dressed up like a boy and went with him. And there she took the name, Marina.


Miranda: She stayed there a number of years and she gathered a lot of learning. She had a reputation for being very obedient and pious and doing lots of good work like healing people. Therefore, one day the Abbot sends Marina to an inn. The innkeeper's daughter, who's already pregnant by some other soldier, blames her pregnancy on Marina.

When her father, the Innkeeper, finds out, he's furious and he goes to the monastery and tells the Abbot, "Look! This monk who's supposedly so pious , he impregnated my daughter!" "What kind of establishment are you running here?" is basically what he says. The Abbot is also furious and he summons Marina and asks him to explain himself. And Marina simply throws himself on the ground and says, "Forgive me, I have committed a horrible transgression." The Abbot kicks him out of the monastery; Marina waits outside the gate and just sets up there.

After the baby is born, the Innkeeper comes and just deposits the baby in front of him and says, "This is the product of your wickedness! Go ahead and raise it!" And Marina does.

Marina's out there for three years. And the monks are very sorry to see their comrade, Marina, out there. They go to the Abbot and say, "How can we just walk right by him without taking pity on him? This is horrible. Let him back in! This has just been too much punishment." The Abbot lets Marina back in. Marina returns to the monastery with the baby and she remains there for the rest of her life. And eventually, she passes away.


When her body is being prepared for burial, they undress the corpse and find out that she's a woman. And they're very amazed and shocked by this. Immediately, the Abbot begs God for forgiveness. He summons the Innkeeper and says, "Look! Your daughter could not have been made pregnant by this man because this man is NOT a man!" The Innkeeper is also very repentant.

So, everything gets sorted out. And Marina, or Mary, is buried with all respect and honor in the monastery.

Sorry, I'm Not LIKE THAT! [Movie Transcript]

Miranda: So... I'm sort of Out of the Closet, but not really. It's kind of difficult to be fully Out, I guess, because of my family. I'm not sure how they would take it. I tried twice. And both times, I was shot down pretty quickly.

The first time, my mother said, "Oh, you know, it's just a phase. Don't worry about it." So I just said, "Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's... just a phase."

And then the second time I tried to be more serious about it. I said, "Mom, listen. There's a girl I like. We have a relationship." And then, I remember, she reached her hands over the counter and took my hands in hers and said, very seriously, "Honey, I think you're possessed by demons." Which struck me as odd because, well, I go to church more than she does.

And I grappled with it at first but I'm totally comfortable with my sexual orientation now and... I don't know. So, I didn't again after that.

But for some reason, I felt more comfortable Coming Out to my school. So I think, most of my school, at least most of the teachers know, but not my family. And here at the college, well, only a small group of people, meaning the ALLiES, know because I'm not really comfortable letting other people know just yet because I usually try to gauge how they feel first, before I actually say anything.

...Though there was one guy who, I guess, was coming on to me. He wanted to start a relationship and I said, "Sorry, I'm like that." (laughs) So, he backed off but he's cool about it. We're friends.

MAINSTREAM EXPOSURE: It's A Double-Edged Sword (Brett) [DELETED SCENE]

James: What is your opinion of the Showtime shows like Queer as Folk and The L Word? Do you think they are more honest portrayals because they show the ugly side of gay life?

Brett: The Showtime shows are good at dealing with things that are messy. I believe that life is messy at the end of the day, no matter who you are. To me, that's a good thing. But the flipside is, once you put it out in the public sphere--it being anything that's not clean and perky and FRIENDS--then there's this real problem that people start to use those characters as ways to stereotype you. So The L Word just becomes, "Oh! All lesbians do is screw each other... and like, make charts." And so, it's a double-edged sword.

It's interesting to me because I've seen both really good gay & lesbian films that handle those problems well and try to undercut them. The Broken Hearts Club, which is one of my favorite gay films, plays with the stereotypes and is well aware of the limitations and how it can become a type of entrapment. But you have to put it out there, right? Heterosexual, white upper middle class people have the privilege of not feeling like anything that's slight off-kilter is somehow problematic about their identity. And so it's gotta get out there and it has to keep getting out there, so that people just go, "Oh! People have problems." So then it brings on the hope that maybe we'll be humanitarians someday...(laughter) ...rather than trying to treat everyone as discreet categories of why you're disenfranchised.

James: Lastly, I'd like to ask your opinion of the LOGO network.

Brett: I don't get cable. Rather, I don't get LOGO because I have the most basic poor academics package. Yes, so it's actually disgraceful that I have this class on queer media and I have not yet done the time with LOGO. And for that, I deserve to be eternally damned. But I'm glad it's there. Sometimes I get a little worried that it could turn out like the LifeTime network, which had a good potential message (to empower women) but then it has gotten to the point where practically every female character on LifeTime is a victim of rape from her husband.

But I haven't seen the programming on LOGO. I don't actually know, I guess that's my project for Summer 2009. I've gotta get cable that is sufficiently sophisticated, i.e. not in South Central Pennsylvania. Does Gettysburg get LOGO?

James: No.

Brett: Of course not. Yeah, so right now I just get the hetero-normative channels. (laughter)

I DON'T DO PHYSICAL INTIMACY: I Seriously Plan To Become A Nun (Miranda) [DELETED SCENE]

I fully support marriage equality, but I don't plan on getting married. I don't really... I don't know. I'm not really into relationships because I have a weird attitude, meaning I'm not a very physical person, so I don't think I'd be able to handle that sort of relationship requirement, I guess.

I love children, but I don't plan on having any of my own, so I'll probably end up teaching... Actually, to be honest, I want to become a nun, which may seem odd but that's something I've wanted to do for years. Yeah... so... Marriage and children are not for me.

NO, WE CAN'T STAY FRIENDS: All My Romantic Relationships Have Ended Badly (Jaimie) [DELETED SCENE]

James: So, typically, what's the usual Cause of Death of your relationships?"

Jaimie: Generally, the usual cause of death is the other person in the relationship. For instance, in one of my major relationships, the other person cheated on me. I ended it there. Usually, I'm the one who ends the relationship because of something the other person did or the way someone was acting. Then again, I haven't had enough relationships to really create a trend. Mostly, it's the other person.

James: Do you typically stay friends with your ex-girlfriends?

Jaimie: NO. Because like I've said, I've had very few relationships, but generally, they've ended badly. I like being in a relationship, I think I'm good at being in a relationship, which means either the other person has to mess up or I have to mess up--but I've been good so far. The few relationship's I've had ended poorly because something bad happened.

I WAS KNOWN AS "THE LESBIAN ON CAMPUS": At Least It Was Exposure To Some People (Celia)

I came out my sophomore year and joined Allies right away. There was one or two other OUT students that I knew of.

In college, I didn't really care about being out. I sort of immediately became the president of Allies and did a lot of stuff around campus. People I dated came to school and I held hands with them while we were walking around. I did get a lot of crap from people, but so many people were really supportive as well. It was sad to be known as “the Lesbian on campus”—before people really knew me, that is—but it was nice to know that it was exposure to some people, I guess.

I’m really curious about how accepting campus is now. I’ve visited and it was so nice to have the ALLiES gathering [the GALA Reception] over Homecoming [2007], where I got to meet many of you. I remember doing that once when I was in Allies and we had a couple come in. Always a small group, but it's so nice just to gather and share stories.

I wasn't as politically minded back then- and I really didn't know much about anything at all. I didn't really have any role models as far as learning about politics relating to GLBT issues. Sadly, I didn't do as much with Allies as I would have liked (in retrospect anyway)—but at least it was going and we did a few things... it wasn't until I moved to DC that I learned things and met up with different types of people and really learned more.

I live in DC now—have been here for 6 years. I’d definitely want to buy a house, get married, have children, etc.

GAY CHARACTERS IN COMIC BOOKS: Why Should The Japanese Have All The Fun? (Kyle)

So this has nothing to do with yaoi, but why should the Japanese have all the fun? There are a bunch of gay superheros and supporting characters in comics, but my favorite is Renee Montoya from the Batman comics. Yes, Batman is my favorite hero but she is kickass. She was also blackmailed into coming out, and her response to another lesbian character from Metropolis (Superman's city) is that “Gotham isn't Metropolis, it isn't San Francisco, it isn't New York.” I like that quote, as paraphrased as it is.

I FEEL DIFFERENT, EVEN AMONG OTHER LESBIANS: I'm Not A Femme And I Don't Act Stereotypically Black (Nelly)

I wouldn't say I've felt hostility so much as apathy from the LGBTQ community for personal reasons as well. I'm naturally a quiet person who has some issues opening up and making small talk (probably stemming with being uncomfortable with my manly sounding voice when women want "women"), and haven't felt exactly comfortable in the little group I've come to know.

A lot of it comes from the height/weight proportion, I'm sure, along with my race. I'm easily written off because I'm not an average height/average weight, white, extroverted lesbian. I'm completely different from most of the other lesbians I know on campus, and have been called an "oreo" more times than I can count from the black girls, lol.

Oh my goodness, let us *not* get into my terrible luck in the dating pool! I seem to have found the pattern to be this:
- Meet the girl
- Dig the girl
- Girl gets girlfriend
It's pretty sad actually. Part of it is due to the issues stated above; and, I think, part of it has to do with I'm not on their radar as a potential at all. I can't say much about Gettysburg, but down here in Maryland, and especially at UMBC, it seems the lesbian dating pool is so small half the girls know your ex-girlfriend(s) and the other half want nothing to do with you.

I think more girls are scared of my butch-ness than anything. And being seen with someone who is pretty much gay isn't something they can probably handle. Because I can't change my appearance when I'm comfortable in it.

BLACK, OVERWEIGHT, MIDDLE CLASS, NONRELIGIOUS BUTCH LESBIAN: I'm Attacked From All Sides (Nelly)

As soon as I moved to Pasadena in the fourth grade, I knew something was very, very different from Glen Burnie. Where my class was a nice mix and balance of racial minorities there, it was me... and James. That's it. It only became worse when James and I advanced in our educative careers, for we both were like, the token black kids in the AP classes.

Add to that the fact that I'm female, and the fact that I don't "act Black," and there's a double hit from both fronts. In the dating pool, I've gotten more flack about being a black woman ("Sorry, no black chicks" is a common sentence I see in personals ads) than I have for not acting "black enough" in high school.

Add to that the fact that I am, in fact, a lesbian? Good grief, triple minority there. And I'm not all super excited about religion? Oh, and how about wanting an education instead of getting high at any given opportunity, as well as keeping a steady job? The hole gets smaller and smaller when we get more specific in our minority classifications.

I never attempted to prioritize all the aspects of who I am, because I think they're all equally important and just as telling of my character. However, if I was to list them in order of acknowledgment, it would probably be something like:

1. Lesbian
2. Female
3. Educated
4. Overweight/Cuddly/Muscular
5. Black
6. Middle Class

Whenever I hear about discrimination of any minority group, I respond in kind. Either with passive-aggressive criticism, discussion within Freedom Alliance, or doing nothing. I wish I could afford to donate to advocacy groups, be it time or finances, but I honestly can't.

I consistently attend Freedom Alliance meetings. I go and discuss topics and listen to consenting or opposing opinions. Sometimes I go hang out with them outside of meeting times when I have time. I never tried to attend anything like the NAACP or the Black Student Union, simply because I don't want to, nor have time to. And, I feel like it will be just as disorganized as some other black student organizations, and don't wish to waste my time listening to the latest gossip and arguments that can happen and continue.

I may try it out this semester, though. I might go and see what it's all about, and really take a look into it.

DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL: Initially It Was A Progressive Step... Now It's A Joke (Katelin)

1: I would never join any branch of the military whether I were straight or gay. It’s just not my thing; I don't like war. But to comment on that “Don't Ask, Don't Tell” policy... its completely disgusting that such an act of discrimination has been in force for as many years as it has. At the time, it was a progressive step... but now it’s a joke. "they", whoever "they" are, say soldiers knowing that fellow members are gay will cause a break in unity. This being the case, I applaud any Gay or Lesbian person who is strong enough to withhold their preference, simply to appease the homophobes. That is true dedication to one's country.

2: I went to catholic school for 13 years and it’s not the reason I am an atheist. I was always taught that God is cool with the gays as long as we don't "act" on our urges. It just doesn't add up to me, not that much religion (especially catholic) does add up in my mind. I think if I were religious enough to want to devote my life to god, my sexuality would not hinder my decision. If I was devout, I would truly believe god loves me not for who I lay next to in bed, but the intentions I have of being a morally upstanding citizen staying true to commandments of God... and true ones, not the radical, misinterpreted passages many use against homosexuals.

A SOLDIER'S LIFE IS NOT FOR ME: I Don't Take Kindly To Being Yelled At and I Hate To Run (Nelly)

First of all, No. I've been told by my father that joining the military would be a daft move on my part. A few of my friends are in the military right now; they can't wait to get out. I don't take well to being yelled at and hate running, so it'd ultimately be a waste of time on my part. And yet, the Marines were the last to call my house...

I'd prefer to serve the country in ways that I know how to and excel at: computer work is something I'm much, much better with, and helping to protect those that might not be able to protect themselves is something much better.

I think those soldiers who come out after serving are some of the bravest people I know. Because they face repercussions from those they served with, and being ostracized from the life they knew. To think they survived and have to survive coming out later is just something I can't fathom.

Considering I'm not exactly the most religious person on the planet, I would have to say I can't be a priest to something that so blatantly gives a hypocritical stance on homosexuality. I mean, how would others like it if I hated their sins and not them? "Oh, I hate that you cheat on your significant other every chance you get, but I love you regardless!" How is homosexuality any different from any other sin?

More power to those that praise God and live how they live, be they homosexual or not. I can't exactly do what they do, because I don't believe in their God, but if they're happy, that's really all that matters in my book.

I DO BELIEVE IN GENDER ROLES: I've Taken On The Masculine Role And I Only Like Feminine Women (Katelin)

I’m going to bring some educational information into this because I find it incredibly interesting. I’ve taken 2 Native American studies courses. In native cultures, there are “two-spirited” people, or a third gender. Men could act as women and women could act as men. I wish our culture could be like this.

For me... I do see a natural categorization in our culture. Too bad I’ve crossed these lines. I’m a female who has taken on a masculine role, but I only like feminine women. I believe in gender roles in relationships. I will pay for a girl, I will get girls numbers, I will most likely be the one to propose, blah blah blah.

I’ve always been a tomboy and now I have no problem taking a male role in society. I am an aggressive female. I would never have a sex-change though, I just taking this role on. I feel more comfortable in it.

I LOVE GENDERFUCKS: I've Broken Plenty Of Gender Stereotypes In My Day (Nelly)

Hmm... while there are "masculine" and "feminine" energies, I don't really think there's much difference between the two. I especially don't believe there's anything that could be considered exclusive to either category. As for that man's work vs. woman's work... if you think about it, things considered woman's work nowadays were men's work before the World Wars. So that entire idea is pretty dumb in my opinion.

Men act more upon their aggressions than women do I think. Or act upon them in a different way. Women can be violent. Men can be very passive as well. Both genders bring love to a relationship. The difference lies within the sphere of *how* they bring it and how they show their love I think. Women are more open about it while men are probably a little more reserved, as that's what's expected of them. A lot of it is based upon expectations to conform with the norm.

I love it with people are genderfucks! I'm more "masculine" in attire and sometimes in my behavior as well, so I'm a little bit biased to those who don't fit in a little box. I've broken plenty of gender stereotypes in my day: I'm the one my parents turn to when it comes to putting furniture together, as my brother sucks at doing so. I cook, do dishes (when I absolutely have to), clean when I have to, and can fix a computer. I know how to jump a car too.

Being what's classified as a butch lesbian also forces me to break gender stereotypes wherever I go. And to break stereotypes everyone may have about butches.

I RECENTLY DATED A LOG CABIN REPUBLICAN: She'd Say, "I Don't Support Gay Marriage, But I Want To Marry You Someday" (Nelly)

I think I could classify myself, politically, as a liberal democrat. I'm registered with the Democratic Party. I'm not very political, so there's few issues I care very much for. However, the issues I care most for are: gay marriage (duh), environment awareness, better compensation for educators, more affordable higher education, and loosening the stranglehold on the middle class.

I voted in the most recent Presidential election. I didn't do much to help out in the political process; I simply made sure my friends were registered and going to vote that day. Considering I skipped my night class to watch the results, I was very happy to see Barack Obama won the election. I felt proud of my country for doing something unprecedented; and proud of my age bracket for actually voting.

I don't go to Gettysburg, so I'm not at liberty to answer anything about ALLiES =)

I can answer the last section of questions though!

So... I dated a conservative log cabin Republican recently. It was very aggravating that we were on complete opposite sides of the spectrum. I never actually thought a difference in political views would bother me, but I now know it definitely does. I'm politically apathetic for the most part, but if someone says something hypocritical like my ex did ("I don't support gay marriage, but I want to marry you someday") that's gonna stick with me and bother me for a long, long time. I'm sure I could date someone who's completely apathetic to politics; now, if it lasted would be the larger question.

I NEVER WANTED KIDS: But Then I Met Someone And Everything Changed (Katelin)

I’ve been in love, fell out of love, wished I was never in love. I believe in “lust at first sight,” which can definitely turn into love, but I can't say "love at first sight" exists. There is no typical length of time for me to turn something into a relationship. Generally, I prefer becoming friends first, but then again the "friend zone" sucks. It depends on the situation, the girl, and everything else. And usually, I like relationships, but in college, that’s harder because I'm terrible at the long distance thing. So, casual dating is usually how it goes.

Marriage... Yes, sure, I want to get married. All these laws, amendments, and, excuse my language, but BULLSHIT, they have been putting us through is unbelievable. People... it’s the 21st century, why are we writing HATE into our constitution?? Anyway, yeah I've been close to proposing before. Only once, but I guess I should be glad I didn’t since we didn't last. I was never one to sit around planning a perfect wedding. That's Wifey's role.

I use to say, no never, not me. I never wanted kids. Then, I met someone I would have actually wanted to have children with and everything changed. We had the plan that she would have the children. One from my egg, one from hers, and they would have the same father. Sounded like the dream family, I think I want to keep that plan.

A WOMAN SCORNED: I Still Have Trust Issues (Nelly)

I believe in love. I've found I'm more in love with the idea of love than I've ever been with any of my girlfriends. To a degree, I think it's possible to have love at first sight. A little bit of love, yes, but not full-blown, knock you off your feet love. Relationship-wise for me, I've been a whole lot more cautious and wary of whom I let in, simply due to some trust issues I've developed after a long distance relationship gone terribly wrong. So it'll take me a bit longer for me to say "this is something serious" nowadays... which, in general lesbian terms is a few months I think? I dunno haha. It's my nature to be constantly looking for love and commitment actually. I looked it up the other day and my personality type has *that* listed unfortunately! So it's virtually impossible for me to casually date someone (or some people), which is really all I've wanted to do for a long time.

I still don't know about getting "married" some day. I really do like the idea of being with the same woman for the rest of my life, but I've begun to doubt finding that someone who can put up with me and whom I can also deal with for that long. When I was four I told my mom I was gonna marry my best friend someday, so of course I've dreamt of marrying women! And I did love someone enough to consider proposing to her... I gave her a ring and everything to show her I was serious (and had one that matched it too!). Didn't work out though.

My dream wedding? Oh man, it'll be EPIC. I'm gonna rent out a HUGE area, sort of like a warehouse I guess, and the wedding and reception will be one big dance party. DJ Irene will spin for the entire evening and Reverend Run will perform the ceremony! Too bad I haven't found someone down for that awesome-tastic wedding.

I'm still up in the air about kids. Because I honestly feel nervous about them. I've attracted family-oriented women lately (which is hilarious in my opinion... a friend said I just exude responsibility or something that screams "good parent!") so I've been rethinking it, but I'm still on the side of "No." Especially coming from a larger family: I like my space. I like coming home to quiet when *everyone* is gone. I like being able to blare my music loud and have no one yelling at me to turn it down/off. My views can always change about this in the next few years, but right now I'm content with having four big dogs and no kids in my future.

If I were to have children, it'd definitely be adoption. Open or closed would probably be up to my wife, but if the dad's a crazy mofo, it'll be closed. It's definitely important that she want kids, because I'm still iffy about them now and will surely be later on. But, I'd hope she's not so desperate for children that she goes and gets herself knocked up...

I'm definitely down for adoption though, as there are simply wayyy too many kids out there who don't have parents and a home to go home to after school.