I've Known Since I Met You, HAVE YOU MET YOU?! [Director's Commentary]

Yes, I'm one of those people who had the pleasure of meeting Bill back in 2005, when he was not only in the closet but homophobic. Like most people, I knew he was gay the moment we met but when I learned that he wasn't anywhere close to coming out, I didn't really try to be his friend. After some humiliating experiences with "closet cases," I found it best to simply avoid them altogether, especially if they poke fun at gays in order to affirm their heterosexuality. Along with the older ALLiES members, I was happy to put the past behind us and welcome Bill into the group during our senior year; he has become extremely comfortable with his sexuality, and I'm proud of him for being honest with himself and everyone else.


I understand Bill's predicament; for most of us, our families have acted as barriers, preventing us from coming out to everyone. In my house, my father didn't show much hostility towards gay people; he just had the attitude that they didn't really exist and if they did, they only lived in segmented parts of urban areas like NYC. Coming from a socially and politically conservative family, I can imagine that he's had a much harder time gaining full acceptance from them. To this day, he still identifies as a die-hard Republican, and I would chock that up to family influence.

I've Known Since I Met You, HAVE YOU MET YOU?! [Movie Transcript]

Bill: OK, so my Coming Out was a little bit later than most people's. I didn't come out until I was 20. It was the end of my sophomore year of college.

I think I've known that I was gay probably since I was 7th grade, because I just kinda knew I liked boys. But I never really want to admit it to myself because I didn't want to be different. And I was also raised in a homophobic household where my dad constantly told me that gay people were less than everyone else, so I didn't want to be apart of that.

So I just repressed it within me until I came to college, at the end of my sophomore year. I first came out to one of my friends here and told her. I said, "I think I'm gay." And she goes, "Yeah... I've known that since I met you. HAVE YOU MET YOU? It's pretty obvious that you are!" So I was like, "Alright."

And I learned to accept myself pretty quickly, so I was happy with that. How I realized I was gay? I had a guy friend who was just my friend but I realized that, to me, he was more than a friend. I was really attracted to him. ...Nothing ever happened but it did get me to Come Out.

On the Gettysburg campus, a lot of people think that it's a really homophobic school but I haven't really had any problems. I'm out to all of my friends here. And I would say that I'm completely Out. If anyone ever asked me, I would always tell them. I don't just volunteer it... without there being a reason for me to tell somebody I'm gay usually. But I would say I'm totally Out.

At home... not so much. Both my parents know but they've asked me not to tell any other family members because, I guess, it'll embarrass them. So I haven't told any other family members.

So yeah, my Coming Out was definitely stressful because I knew it was going to be a tough issue at home. My mom's OK with it now, but for my dad, it's definitely tough for him. So I try to be understanding to the fact that he doesn't really accept it, but it's kinda hard.

BEFORE I WAS A BULL: I Was A Ballerina (Katelin)

When I was younger, I use to dance... Laugh it up, but I was a ballerina. Anyway, I had crushes on the older girls. I still remember the three of them. Four actually, but I certainly had a crush on all four of them. I didn’t know what it was; I was 5 years old. I thought they were soooooo cool and always wanted to be around them. After that, my first girlfriend was in 4th grade. It’s kinda crazy, but we were little bad kids running around doing things we probably shouldn’t.

I went to Catholic school my whole life, and God Hates Gays is basically what I was taught. No No, I stand corrected. God hates the ACTIONS, not the person. Big deal, so I can be a lesbian but can never look at a woman in that way.... Not gonna happen, pal, sorry! I went through my “Bi phase” in HS because "I noticed beautiful people, male or female." It never hit me that I NEVER thought a boy was beautiful, never had crushes on boys, but I certainly did on girls. College made me be more open with myself and I fully came out to myself first, then everyone else.

Now, I feel like my "obviousness" helps me not have to have that awkward "Hey. I'm gay" talk. If you can't tell, then it’s your loss.

And, no, I haven't questioned my sexuality since I've come out. I don't need to. All my good friends from home say to me that they've never seen me happier since I've been with girls. This is who I am, like it or love it!

I WANTED TO GET MARRIED: Just Like Ken and Barbie (Adaeze)

My first crush was my best friend in 2nd grade. I know I was young, but I remember just wanting to get married like we did with Ken and Barbie. She moved away and I was heartbroken. I cried for a long while. I wonder what she is doing now...

SLIGHTLY BISEXUAL: Generally I Pursue Relationships With Men (Tory)

I first questioned my sexuality in 8th grade. I had a wonderful science teacher who was so nice to me and I had a bit of a crush on her. I eventually dismissed it as friendly feelings and nothing more.

In high school I was often attracted to women, including some of my friends, but since I spent my first few years of HS in Virginia, which is still very unaccepting of homosexuality, I ignored it again.

After coming to college and discussing my feelings with both high school and college friends, I understand myself much more. I consider myself slightly bisexual...in general I am attracted to men and pursue relationships with men, but I am also attracted to women, though I do not believe I will ever have a relationship with a woman. I don't usually act on my bisexual feelings, but I comment more about it to people who know me the best.

I HAD NO IDEA WHAT A LESBIAN WAS: But I Knew I Liked Girls (Adaeze)

I liked girls before guys. I knew I liked girls in 4th or 5th grade and didn't know what the word “lesbian” meant, but I knew I liked girls. It was during 6th grade was when I had my first male crush. I was like, "Whoa, do I like guys now?" I was completely confused until high school. I talked to some of my older friends and I did some soul searcher kind of thing and I understood that I was bisexual. I felt at peace.

GOOD RIDDANCE: If My Sexuality Was the Reason, Then They Were Never My Friends in the First Place (James)

Thanks to the magic of FaceBook, MySpace, and personal conversations of course, I'm completely out to my friends. The vast majority of my close friends are girls, and I'd say about half of them have been completely accepting. To clarify, when I say half, I mean half of my friends from Pasadena; the Gettysburg ones have been 100% supportive since the start.

I've lost quite a few old friends after coming out, but I suspect that they were more upset because I'd been lying to them for years, so they never knew the "real me." Or maybe they were offended because back then, I just assumed that they were too close-minded/untrustworthy for me to tell them my secret. But if they ONLY reason they dropped me was because I'm gay, then they were never my friends in the first place. And Good Riddance!

I think a lot of my Gettysburg friends are happy to have an openly gay friend, and I've never had a friend make a derogatory comment in my presence. I'd snatch their eyeballs out if they did, but they haven't.

I'm comfortable talking to my guy and girl friends about crushes that I have, but when it comes to dating and romance, I prefer to confide in my girls... since they tend to appreciate that sort of thing. Straight guys don't seem to be enthusiastic about the gushy stuff.

Sex is a touchy subject, but I try to be honest about it with my friends. However, I CONSTANTLY find myself filtering what I say, so that I won't emotionally scar anyone with the mental images, especially straight guys. Right off the bat, I don't like to introduce a date to my friends, unless I'm confident that the relationship has a future. Otherwise, I know they'll never let me live down last month's Fuck-and-Run.

I think group dates are awkward and lame, especially when it's the 1st date. When it comes to a first date, I'd much rather meet with a guy, one-on-one, without having to worry about what our straight friends might think. Once we've gone out a few times alone and become a confident couple, then we can go out with our friends and just be our uninhibited selves.

It's strange but I think I do modify my behavior around my straight friends as opposed to my gays. With the gays, I can completely turn off the filter and be as nasty as I want, but with my straight friends, I try to respect the fact that they're already AWESOME for accepting ideas of gay romance but hardcore gay sex... that takes some time. If we're in a public setting, I'd be more likely to censor myself with the straights, because I wouldn't want people to get the wrong idea about them.

I'll say it again: it's a strange issue, because even the most pride-filled gays do it subconsciously at times, sometimes out of habit or as a reflex.