DISCRETION: TMI, My Friend (Adaeze)

I came out to my friends first during high school, so they were all cool. I hang with guys more than I do with girls, but that’s because I share more interests with my guy friends than my girl friends. I'm a very blunt and open person so I talk about everything. The only person I had to censor myself with was my roommate this past semester, I felt that she might be a little uncomfortable.

I'm a virgin to meeting and dating people so I have nothing to talk about but if I went on a date with a girl and someone asks for the details I would tell them the nitty gritty but if we had sex I wouldn't give all those details I'd just say we had sex, same if I dated some guy. I wouldn't want to know how many sex positions someone and his/her lover did in an hour. All I would ask is if the sex was good, sympathize if it was bad, and that's it! No more please!

TRAILBLAZER: I Came Out and Several Friends Followed Suit (Nelly)

See, being a short, black, butch lesbian kinda makes you out and auto-homo, so being gay? Pfft, I'm sure most of my friends knew before I even told them. In fact, I don't think I ever sat any of them down and had "The Talk" with them. I just... confirmed their suspicions after sophomore year in high school.

A lot of my friends... are straight girls or gay boys. I know maybe a handful of straight guys that I can say I'm close to as well. As for the not-so-straight girls... there's a few of them too, and a few of the lesbians that I'm actually *friends* with, if that's even possible in the lesbian circles!

If I lost friends because of my sexuality, that's on them. Most are very accepting of it, because it's just one facet of my personality. Of course, it's also my most raunchy side (if I don't have a girlfriend), so a lot of my sorority sisters (especially my poor little) are on the hunt for a girl who can tame it. Most of my sorority tease me relentlessly about being gay, and I've chided them a few times about pausing and then saying "...Or girls" and giving me a look.

I think after I "came out," a bunch of friends followed suit. Or they turned to me and disclosed their bisexuality to me in some instances. I guess I'm more of a trailblazer than I originally thought.

As for talking about crushes and the like... I've never hid it. But I don't really talk about them either, because I don't want to jinx myself. I disclose the potentials to a few key people, and then try and introduce the actual (when it happens) to as many of them as possible to show her they're accepting and a big part of my life as well. As for romance.... I don't really talk about my romantic side with anyone. That's my secret side, as I'm supposed to be a badass. They know about it though, so they're only allowed glimpses of it.

And sex... well they'll hit me with the straight coupling stories, so it's only fair I fire back with some of my excursions as well. And my gay boys... I've been subjected to some mental images from them! It's all good though, because for every penis image I get, they get twice as much in vagina stories. The straight guys understand they can't join, so sometimes I tell them what I've been up to with the ladies. Straight girls are the worst though, because they always want details.

I've never been on a group date I don't think. So I can't say for sure if it'd be awkward to go out with a straight couple or the gay boys. I think the gay boys would make for great entertainment on a group date though.

I don't think I've "modified" my behavior around anyone except for my family. I'm the same person around everyone. And the only reason I "modify" my behavior around my family is because I don't feel like getting into arguments with my mother at every given turn.

Some days I wish I had a censor! My poor little gets a lot of my raunchy side because I don't see my raunchiest of my sorority sisters very often. I hang out with my friends in public and private settings, so they see me as who I am.

GOOD RIDDANCE: If My Sexuality Was the Reason, Then They Were Never My Friends in the First Place (James)

Thanks to the magic of FaceBook, MySpace, and personal conversations of course, I'm completely out to my friends. The vast majority of my close friends are girls, and I'd say about half of them have been completely accepting. To clarify, when I say half, I mean half of my friends from Pasadena; the Gettysburg ones have been 100% supportive since the start.

I've lost quite a few old friends after coming out, but I suspect that they were more upset because I'd been lying to them for years, so they never knew the "real me." Or maybe they were offended because back then, I just assumed that they were too close-minded/untrustworthy for me to tell them my secret. But if they ONLY reason they dropped me was because I'm gay, then they were never my friends in the first place. And Good Riddance!

I think a lot of my Gettysburg friends are happy to have an openly gay friend, and I've never had a friend make a derogatory comment in my presence. I'd snatch their eyeballs out if they did, but they haven't.

I'm comfortable talking to my guy and girl friends about crushes that I have, but when it comes to dating and romance, I prefer to confide in my girls... since they tend to appreciate that sort of thing. Straight guys don't seem to be enthusiastic about the gushy stuff.

Sex is a touchy subject, but I try to be honest about it with my friends. However, I CONSTANTLY find myself filtering what I say, so that I won't emotionally scar anyone with the mental images, especially straight guys. Right off the bat, I don't like to introduce a date to my friends, unless I'm confident that the relationship has a future. Otherwise, I know they'll never let me live down last month's Fuck-and-Run.

I think group dates are awkward and lame, especially when it's the 1st date. When it comes to a first date, I'd much rather meet with a guy, one-on-one, without having to worry about what our straight friends might think. Once we've gone out a few times alone and become a confident couple, then we can go out with our friends and just be our uninhibited selves.

It's strange but I think I do modify my behavior around my straight friends as opposed to my gays. With the gays, I can completely turn off the filter and be as nasty as I want, but with my straight friends, I try to respect the fact that they're already AWESOME for accepting ideas of gay romance but hardcore gay sex... that takes some time. If we're in a public setting, I'd be more likely to censor myself with the straights, because I wouldn't want people to get the wrong idea about them.

I'll say it again: it's a strange issue, because even the most pride-filled gays do it subconsciously at times, sometimes out of habit or as a reflex.