I Prefer The KINSEY Scale [Movie Transcript]

Beth: You know the KINSEY Scale?

James: M'hmm.

Beth: 'Cause that's more fluid.

James: Yeah.

Beth: Not sure if "fluid" is the right word, but it's not so...

James: Black and white?

Beth: Yeah, (gestures) you're this and you're this. Because that's confusing.

James: So you identify as... "still trying to figure it out?"

Beth: Yeah, like leaning closer toward--I say I'm bi, and I put on my Facebook profile that I'm interested in men and women, because that's the truth. But at the same time, when I say I'm bisexual, I think of other people I know who are bisexual and I think, "Oh, I'm not anything like them."

But then I realize, I'm not much like people, in general. I don't really identify with girls that much--I'm not saying I'm not a girl--I think it's because I have Asperger's and that makes me different from a lot of people. I can't identify or empathize with people as easily, so sometimes I just can't relate to things so... that's probably why it's more strange to identify with things.

SLIGHTLY BISEXUAL: Generally I Pursue Relationships With Men (Tory)

I first questioned my sexuality in 8th grade. I had a wonderful science teacher who was so nice to me and I had a bit of a crush on her. I eventually dismissed it as friendly feelings and nothing more.

In high school I was often attracted to women, including some of my friends, but since I spent my first few years of HS in Virginia, which is still very unaccepting of homosexuality, I ignored it again.

After coming to college and discussing my feelings with both high school and college friends, I understand myself much more. I consider myself slightly bisexual...in general I am attracted to men and pursue relationships with men, but I am also attracted to women, though I do not believe I will ever have a relationship with a woman. I don't usually act on my bisexual feelings, but I comment more about it to people who know me the best.

I HAD NO IDEA WHAT A LESBIAN WAS: But I Knew I Liked Girls (Adaeze)

I liked girls before guys. I knew I liked girls in 4th or 5th grade and didn't know what the word “lesbian” meant, but I knew I liked girls. It was during 6th grade was when I had my first male crush. I was like, "Whoa, do I like guys now?" I was completely confused until high school. I talked to some of my older friends and I did some soul searcher kind of thing and I understood that I was bisexual. I felt at peace.

THAT TINGLING SENSATION: I Enjoyed Wrestling A Little TOO Much (James)

My first experience with sexual attraction occurred when I was 4 years old. Nearly every single afternoon, my partner-in-crime, Andrew, and I would have EPIC wrestling matches on the ranch behind our babysitter’s house. Of course, back then, I didn’t realize that that “tingling sensation” was intense sexual attraction, BUT when I was 11 years old, and I started to have recurring wet dreams about men, I finally put 2 and 2 together. Unlike the girls I’ve interviewed, I had no emotional attachment to Andrew whatsoever. He made me feel good physically, and I guess I just assumed that all guys felt that way when engaged in mortal combat. :D

I’m sure that everyone in my family knew that I was gay LONG before I did. My siblings and I would race each other in my mom’s high heels. For a home video, I dressed up as Dorothy and the three of us [my older sister, brother, and I] danced to Salt ‘N Pepa’s “Shoop.” I always kept my fingernails LONG in elementary school... but then again, I trimmed them with scissors so that they were razor-sharp points.

I totally thought my friends were in the dark until I saw myself on videotape, and for the first time, I saw my flamboyant mannerisms and heard my queer voice. It was a wake-up call, and for the longest time, I attempted to “butch it up.” Plus, up until the 10th grade, I genuinely believed that I was bisexual and I was consistently dating girls. But when I couldn’t make a relationship work with one of my best friends, Amanda Panda, I knew that I could never make it work with any woman. By avoiding sex with her, I really hurt her feelings, made her feel ugly and unwanted, and I never want to put anyone else through that.

Unfortunately, in high school, girls were still attracted to me, so maybe my “obviousness” wasn’t as strong as I originally thought. When I came out, I only disclosed it to my closest friends and only hinted at it with my other classmates.

Sometimes, I do question my sexuality. I’ve been hurt repeatedly by men that I cared about, and for a split second every now and then, I just want to be asexual, as Nelly said. The fact of the matter is, I’m damaged goods and I have some emotional baggage… but switching teams wouldn’t help me; it would just hurt somebody else.