I don’t think anything should be considered inherently masculine or feminine. Masculine and feminine are social constructs, and they vary from culture to culture. It’s ridiculous and supremely arrogant to assume that definite spheres exist simply because it’s easier to categorize than to allow things to remain in the grey, where they should be.
Do I think there is any merit to the ideas of "man's work" versus "woman's work”?
Absolutely not. These constructs are meant to divide the genders; we have far more in common than we have in difference.
I think our society dictates that it’s OK for men to be more violent, that it’s more acceptable than seeing a violent woman. And likewise, it's socially acceptable and expected for women to be the more nurturing, emotional, loving one in a relationship. But it’s all bull. Remove these socio-cultural constructs and let people be who are they are inclined to be without fear of alienation, and we would see a lot more gender variance in issues like these.
How does it make me feel to see people transcending these boundaries of so-called gender-determined behaviors?” It’s awesome! We need to be ourselves. Gender doesn’t need to be nor SHOULD it be confined to two boxes, which most people don’t neatly fit into but feel forced to in order to fit in and maintain face and image.
I’ve always hated sports. Playing them, watching them... it’s all so boring. It’s a bunch of imbeciles running around playing out mini wars and taking out their aggression through a series of silly rules. You won’t see me “protecting my masculinity” by calling anyone out and exchanging insults and blows. I like to look nice. Instead of going out to play sports with the other boys in elementary school I hung out with the girls and played jump rope and hop-scotch. I didn’t really have good straight male friends until my senior year of high school, and I’m still far more comfortable discussing how I feel with women rather than with other guys.
Showing posts with label Elementary School. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Elementary School. Show all posts
9.06.2009
I WANTED TO GET MARRIED: Just Like Ken and Barbie (Adaeze)
My first crush was my best friend in 2nd grade. I know I was young, but I remember just wanting to get married like we did with Ken and Barbie. She moved away and I was heartbroken. I cried for a long while. I wonder what she is doing now...
I HAD NO IDEA WHAT A LESBIAN WAS: But I Knew I Liked Girls (Adaeze)
I liked girls before guys. I knew I liked girls in 4th or 5th grade and didn't know what the word “lesbian” meant, but I knew I liked girls. It was during 6th grade was when I had my first male crush. I was like, "Whoa, do I like guys now?" I was completely confused until high school. I talked to some of my older friends and I did some soul searcher kind of thing and I understood that I was bisexual. I felt at peace.
THAT TINGLING SENSATION: I Enjoyed Wrestling A Little TOO Much (James)
My first experience with sexual attraction occurred when I was 4 years old. Nearly every single afternoon, my partner-in-crime, Andrew, and I would have EPIC wrestling matches on the ranch behind our babysitter’s house. Of course, back then, I didn’t realize that that “tingling sensation” was intense sexual attraction, BUT when I was 11 years old, and I started to have recurring wet dreams about men, I finally put 2 and 2 together. Unlike the girls I’ve interviewed, I had no emotional attachment to Andrew whatsoever. He made me feel good physically, and I guess I just assumed that all guys felt that way when engaged in mortal combat. :D
I’m sure that everyone in my family knew that I was gay LONG before I did. My siblings and I would race each other in my mom’s high heels. For a home video, I dressed up as Dorothy and the three of us [my older sister, brother, and I] danced to Salt ‘N Pepa’s “Shoop.” I always kept my fingernails LONG in elementary school... but then again, I trimmed them with scissors so that they were razor-sharp points.
I totally thought my friends were in the dark until I saw myself on videotape, and for the first time, I saw my flamboyant mannerisms and heard my queer voice. It was a wake-up call, and for the longest time, I attempted to “butch it up.” Plus, up until the 10th grade, I genuinely believed that I was bisexual and I was consistently dating girls. But when I couldn’t make a relationship work with one of my best friends, Amanda Panda, I knew that I could never make it work with any woman. By avoiding sex with her, I really hurt her feelings, made her feel ugly and unwanted, and I never want to put anyone else through that.
Unfortunately, in high school, girls were still attracted to me, so maybe my “obviousness” wasn’t as strong as I originally thought. When I came out, I only disclosed it to my closest friends and only hinted at it with my other classmates.
Sometimes, I do question my sexuality. I’ve been hurt repeatedly by men that I cared about, and for a split second every now and then, I just want to be asexual, as Nelly said. The fact of the matter is, I’m damaged goods and I have some emotional baggage… but switching teams wouldn’t help me; it would just hurt somebody else.
I’m sure that everyone in my family knew that I was gay LONG before I did. My siblings and I would race each other in my mom’s high heels. For a home video, I dressed up as Dorothy and the three of us [my older sister, brother, and I] danced to Salt ‘N Pepa’s “Shoop.” I always kept my fingernails LONG in elementary school... but then again, I trimmed them with scissors so that they were razor-sharp points.
I totally thought my friends were in the dark until I saw myself on videotape, and for the first time, I saw my flamboyant mannerisms and heard my queer voice. It was a wake-up call, and for the longest time, I attempted to “butch it up.” Plus, up until the 10th grade, I genuinely believed that I was bisexual and I was consistently dating girls. But when I couldn’t make a relationship work with one of my best friends, Amanda Panda, I knew that I could never make it work with any woman. By avoiding sex with her, I really hurt her feelings, made her feel ugly and unwanted, and I never want to put anyone else through that.
Unfortunately, in high school, girls were still attracted to me, so maybe my “obviousness” wasn’t as strong as I originally thought. When I came out, I only disclosed it to my closest friends and only hinted at it with my other classmates.
Sometimes, I do question my sexuality. I’ve been hurt repeatedly by men that I cared about, and for a split second every now and then, I just want to be asexual, as Nelly said. The fact of the matter is, I’m damaged goods and I have some emotional baggage… but switching teams wouldn’t help me; it would just hurt somebody else.
INDEPENDENT INTERPRETATION: I Favor Solitary Practice Over Organized Religion (James)
From birth to age 5, I was raised as a Methodist and attended Sunday School and church every week. When my family stopped going to church, I remember missing all the hugging we used to do with our Sunday School classmates before every lesson.
During my darkest hour, the third grade (1995), a.k.a the year when the Maryland district lines were re-drawn and my closest friends were transferred to separate elementary schools, I felt like that there was something missing in my life. I wanted to believe in some kind of higher power; I wanted to feel like I wasn’t alone in the world.
Having been a longtime computer nerd, in my spare time, I would just type names into the interactive Merriam-Webster Dictionary. I was fascinated by the literary origins of my friends’ names. It was enlightening to see how, for the most part, we’ve earned names from mythical beings. I embraced those stories and called upon those figures (mainly Greek and Roman gods) for guidance.
Eventually this fascination with mythology and magic led me to start purchasing books on Wicca. For the longest time, I believed that I could control the weather with the power of my mind; I always thought that would be a cool ability to have. I also got really good at reading tarot cards. My faith made me a happier person, but when I had a bad experience during a solitary ritual (involving 6 golden spiders crawling over my body), I completely abandoned it.
During my junior year, some friends of mine started the GAIA Pagan Society, and just being around such enthusiastic, positive people re-affirmed my faith and made me want to practice again. Since the pagan religion values sexuality of all kinds and it is thought that states of sexual ecstasy bring followers closer to the Goddess and the God, homosexuality is perfectly acceptable.
Religion isn’t a huge part of my life, but I do think that everyone should believe in something, meaning some higher power. I’m not a huge fan of organized religion; I prefer solitary practice, and it’s comforting to know that I have a one-on-one connection with a divine being. I wouldn’t mind if my partner weren’t religious at all, and I wouldn’t try to force my beliefs onto him. However, if he were a ”crazy Christian” who spouted off slogans like “Hate the sin, Not the sinner,” then that would probably cause major problems in our relationship.
During my darkest hour, the third grade (1995), a.k.a the year when the Maryland district lines were re-drawn and my closest friends were transferred to separate elementary schools, I felt like that there was something missing in my life. I wanted to believe in some kind of higher power; I wanted to feel like I wasn’t alone in the world.
Having been a longtime computer nerd, in my spare time, I would just type names into the interactive Merriam-Webster Dictionary. I was fascinated by the literary origins of my friends’ names. It was enlightening to see how, for the most part, we’ve earned names from mythical beings. I embraced those stories and called upon those figures (mainly Greek and Roman gods) for guidance.
Eventually this fascination with mythology and magic led me to start purchasing books on Wicca. For the longest time, I believed that I could control the weather with the power of my mind; I always thought that would be a cool ability to have. I also got really good at reading tarot cards. My faith made me a happier person, but when I had a bad experience during a solitary ritual (involving 6 golden spiders crawling over my body), I completely abandoned it.
During my junior year, some friends of mine started the GAIA Pagan Society, and just being around such enthusiastic, positive people re-affirmed my faith and made me want to practice again. Since the pagan religion values sexuality of all kinds and it is thought that states of sexual ecstasy bring followers closer to the Goddess and the God, homosexuality is perfectly acceptable.
Religion isn’t a huge part of my life, but I do think that everyone should believe in something, meaning some higher power. I’m not a huge fan of organized religion; I prefer solitary practice, and it’s comforting to know that I have a one-on-one connection with a divine being. I wouldn’t mind if my partner weren’t religious at all, and I wouldn’t try to force my beliefs onto him. However, if he were a ”crazy Christian” who spouted off slogans like “Hate the sin, Not the sinner,” then that would probably cause major problems in our relationship.
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