LIVE AND LET LIVE: Gender Should Not Be Confined To Two Boxes (Bryan)

I don’t think anything should be considered inherently masculine or feminine. Masculine and feminine are social constructs, and they vary from culture to culture. It’s ridiculous and supremely arrogant to assume that definite spheres exist simply because it’s easier to categorize than to allow things to remain in the grey, where they should be.

Do I think there is any merit to the ideas of "man's work" versus "woman's work”?
Absolutely not. These constructs are meant to divide the genders; we have far more in common than we have in difference.

I think our society dictates that it’s OK for men to be more violent, that it’s more acceptable than seeing a violent woman. And likewise, it's socially acceptable and expected for women to be the more nurturing, emotional, loving one in a relationship. But it’s all bull. Remove these socio-cultural constructs and let people be who are they are inclined to be without fear of alienation, and we would see a lot more gender variance in issues like these.

How does it make me feel to see people transcending these boundaries of so-called gender-determined behaviors?” It’s awesome! We need to be ourselves. Gender doesn’t need to be nor SHOULD it be confined to two boxes, which most people don’t neatly fit into but feel forced to in order to fit in and maintain face and image.

I’ve always hated sports. Playing them, watching them... it’s all so boring. It’s a bunch of imbeciles running around playing out mini wars and taking out their aggression through a series of silly rules. You won’t see me “protecting my masculinity” by calling anyone out and exchanging insults and blows. I like to look nice. Instead of going out to play sports with the other boys in elementary school I hung out with the girls and played jump rope and hop-scotch. I didn’t really have good straight male friends until my senior year of high school, and I’m still far more comfortable discussing how I feel with women rather than with other guys.

I ALWAYS WANTED A SINGLE: I Suck At Choosing Roommates (James)

Freshman year I was randomly matched with Sean, a straight Lacrosse player from Babylon, NY. Surprisingly, he was completely accepting of my sexual orientation and didn't treat me any differently upon finding out... in fact, I think this revelation made him try even harder to come off as open-minded. I felt perfectly comfortable bringing guys back to the bedroom, though he didn't usually bring the girls back.

My Huber Hallmates were EXTREMELY accepting, though I was a bit suspicious of two guys who seemed uncomfortable discussing anything gay-related. Other than that, practically all the girls on my floor had borrowed and passed around my "Queer As Folk: Season One" boxed set. I found it cool that Sean would sometimes watch "QAF" with me, have no idea what was going on, but would let me know that he supported all of it.

I think Sean was a little uncomfortable getting dressed in front of me at first, but then I think he realized that not ALL gay guys were attracted to him, and he stopped being awkward. There were probably brief moments in the year when I did find him physically attractive, but of course, I never acted on any desires I might've had.

My first big mistake occurred during my sophomore year when I roomed with Billy, one of my ex-boyfriends. As I got to know him better as a roommate, I also found out that he was a Log Cabin Republican and possibly, bisexual. At the same time, it was a horrible yet wonderful experience. We had some bitter arguments, but we also had interesting 5-hour conversations.

The entire time we lived together, we never so much as hugged. Even though he and I had been intimate while we were dating (Spring 2006), I still have never seen him with his shirt off... he was slightly overweight and was afraid of offending people with his naked body. I'm the exact opposite; my motto's "Skin to the Wind!" I felt perfectly comfortable (un)dressing with him in the room, but he'd always dress himself in our tiny bathroom, despite how physically uncomfortable I imagine it was.

Since we had broken up over four months prior, I'm confident I wasn't still attracted to him while we bunked together. I felt comfortable bringing dates back to the room to meet Billy, but more often than not, my steady date was one of HIS ex-lovers, so he would usually find a reason to leave the dorm.

My even bigger mistake was rooming with Jinming, an International student, during my junior year. He spoke very little English and never cleaned up after himself. I don't even know if he knew I was gay until he saw me making out and writhing around on the floor with my boyfriend at the time.

I do believe he was straight, though he didn't go out on dates. It didn't really matter since I wasn't remotely attracted to him. I'm not sure how accepting he was of me, because frequently, he spoke Chinese with his friends and on the phone, so I never knew if he was actually mocking or insulting me. I never felt threatened by him, but I was scared by the cloud of mystery surrounding him. The ONLY thing we had in common was that we were both Film Studies majors. That year, I suspect that we had a gay CL, who did a pretty good job, but as far as I know, he has yet to come out.

This year has brought about my best roommate situation. I was placed with Travis, a long-time ALLiES member who was actually the first person I met @ Gettysburg College (on G.I.V. Day). He and are both Black gay men, and No, we have never been romantically involved. At times, I have found him physically attractive, but most of the time, I treat him like my little brother. We're both comfortable (un)dressing in front of each other, and that hasn't been remotely awkward, as far as I know.

I like rooming with Travis because it's fun to talk with someone about crushes, who we're dating, and gay pop culture without him getting grossed out or thinking that I'm perverted.

Living in ALLiES House has been amazing! Although seeing one of my exes on a daily basis drove me insane last semester, now I'm feeling much more at ease here. I feel like everyone in the house respects each other and is completely supportive when anyone's dating.

And although Jai [Schock] isn't an official House Leader, she has been a wonderful "Gay Den Mother" to us all. She's a pro at giving people advice on romantic relationships, as well as dealing with an array of personal problems.

I HAD A HOMOPHOBIC ROOMMATE: She Refused To Watch RENT and Tila Tequila (Tory)

Freshman year I lived with a girl I would consider homophobic. She never said anything specific about why or anything. I've never even heard her say anything negative about homosexuality, but she refused to watch Rent or A Shot at Love just because homosexuality was a topic and gay people were involved. She's still one of my close friends, but needless to say, I will not be bringing her over to Allies house... We did have some tension because of this, but generally I avoiding bringing up the subject since we had a great relationship otherwise.

Sophomore year my roommate was bisexual, but only out to a small number of people on campus, because she thought her teammates would not approve. Since living with her she has come out, and is now living with my Freshman year roommate (as of last week)...so this should be an interesting situation.