I DATED AN ADDICT: To Say "I Was Pressured To Join In" Would Be An Understatement! (Nelly)

It's not so much happy as content/restless. I've never been told I'm depressed or anything like that, nor have I ever had to take anything to manage my moods. I'm sure there's probably something a tiny bit off with me, but nothing a good night's rest and the occasional rant on LiveJournal won't fix. I'm one of James' friends that never had to take anti-depressants, so lucky me! haha. He *is* right though; quite a few of our crew were taking psychiatric drugs.

I've never felt dependent upon any substance, except maybe chocolate. That's my comfort food, really. Chocolate and ice cream. I drink, I smoke a few times a year, I smoke hookah with a friend on occasion (we've jokingly called it our Hookah Therapy sessions). I've tried marijuana before, and have been high before as well, but that's the most of it. No "hard" drugs or anything like that. Lately I've been craving an escape, but I know getting high won't help at all, so I'm trying to shake the feeling.

I was in a relationship with someone who was, and probably still is, a stoner. She was the person I first tried weed with as well. She was a lot of firsts for me, and we definitely got into arguments about how much she smoked; I didn't like how she seemed to be high almost daily, and how I always worried about how she might move on to harder drugs. A few years ago she told me she was dropping acid, so I felt powerless to stop her. Now though, I'm pretty sure she's still just getting high, which is a relief. To say I was pressured to join in would be an understatement; she wore down my resolve one night when I took her to a party after one of her shows. I did about a three-month stint with a couple other friends of mine after we broke up, just to see if I could figure out why she did it, but it didn't work, was getting expensive, and I just didn't feel like myself anymore.

But drug use was never the reason for any of my breakups, interestingly enough. I never drank with any of my girlfriends either; with the drug-using one, I hated beer and had to drive us back that night; the other two are two years younger than me. I've been drunk a handful of times recently, and know I won't go home with anyone at all. Typically, that’s because I'm surrounded by straight people at the parties, and partially because I know better.