9.06.2009

I BROUGHT HOME BUTCH WOMEN: My Parents Replied, "Why Don't You Just Date A Man?" (Celia)

I love my family. We've always been close. We've sort of distanced more in the past few years, as my two sisters and I have grown up more, moved away, and they've been in more serious relationships. That's sad to me.

My mom asked me if I was gay- on IM [Online Instant Messenger]! She then told the family. She was really, really great about it. Sometimes she makes comments that make me wonder—I think she believes that being straight is an easier route in life, but she has no problem telling her friends (in small town Iowa) that her daughter is a lesbian. She's claimed she's known since I was young. My dad did take a bit to adjust, but he is wonderful as well.

My sisters were fine—and I sometimes feel they're more out for me than I am! They are both straight.

My mom didn't talk about my sexual identity with all the members of the family—and still maybe hasn't. However, we're really not that close with many of them, so I don't really care.

My parents did have a problem with my image more when I came out—my dad less so. They didn't like my more butch phase... or people I dated who were butch. I heard that classic comment, "Well, why don't you just date a man?"

I sometimes don't know if it's that I don't feel comfortable—or if it's because we're just not that close—but I don't share a ton about my relationships with my parents. I usually don't tell them I’m dating someone for a few months—and don't share any of the details. I don't know how much my sisters share about their boyfriends. But my family has always liked and been wonderful about meeting people I've dated. Even parents of people I've dated.

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