Freshman year I was randomly matched with Sean, a straight Lacrosse player from Babylon, NY. Surprisingly, he was completely accepting of my sexual orientation and didn't treat me any differently upon finding out... in fact, I think this revelation made him try even harder to come off as open-minded. I felt perfectly comfortable bringing guys back to the bedroom, though he didn't usually bring the girls back.
My Huber Hallmates were EXTREMELY accepting, though I was a bit suspicious of two guys who seemed uncomfortable discussing anything gay-related. Other than that, practically all the girls on my floor had borrowed and passed around my "Queer As Folk: Season One" boxed set. I found it cool that Sean would sometimes watch "QAF" with me, have no idea what was going on, but would let me know that he supported all of it.
I think Sean was a little uncomfortable getting dressed in front of me at first, but then I think he realized that not ALL gay guys were attracted to him, and he stopped being awkward. There were probably brief moments in the year when I did find him physically attractive, but of course, I never acted on any desires I might've had.
My first big mistake occurred during my sophomore year when I roomed with Billy, one of my ex-boyfriends. As I got to know him better as a roommate, I also found out that he was a Log Cabin Republican and possibly, bisexual. At the same time, it was a horrible yet wonderful experience. We had some bitter arguments, but we also had interesting 5-hour conversations.
The entire time we lived together, we never so much as hugged. Even though he and I had been intimate while we were dating (Spring 2006), I still have never seen him with his shirt off... he was slightly overweight and was afraid of offending people with his naked body. I'm the exact opposite; my motto's "Skin to the Wind!" I felt perfectly comfortable (un)dressing with him in the room, but he'd always dress himself in our tiny bathroom, despite how physically uncomfortable I imagine it was.
Since we had broken up over four months prior, I'm confident I wasn't still attracted to him while we bunked together. I felt comfortable bringing dates back to the room to meet Billy, but more often than not, my steady date was one of HIS ex-lovers, so he would usually find a reason to leave the dorm.
My even bigger mistake was rooming with Jinming, an International student, during my junior year. He spoke very little English and never cleaned up after himself. I don't even know if he knew I was gay until he saw me making out and writhing around on the floor with my boyfriend at the time.
I do believe he was straight, though he didn't go out on dates. It didn't really matter since I wasn't remotely attracted to him. I'm not sure how accepting he was of me, because frequently, he spoke Chinese with his friends and on the phone, so I never knew if he was actually mocking or insulting me. I never felt threatened by him, but I was scared by the cloud of mystery surrounding him. The ONLY thing we had in common was that we were both Film Studies majors. That year, I suspect that we had a gay CL, who did a pretty good job, but as far as I know, he has yet to come out.
This year has brought about my best roommate situation. I was placed with Travis, a long-time ALLiES member who was actually the first person I met @ Gettysburg College (on G.I.V. Day). He and are both Black gay men, and No, we have never been romantically involved. At times, I have found him physically attractive, but most of the time, I treat him like my little brother. We're both comfortable (un)dressing in front of each other, and that hasn't been remotely awkward, as far as I know.
I like rooming with Travis because it's fun to talk with someone about crushes, who we're dating, and gay pop culture without him getting grossed out or thinking that I'm perverted.
Living in ALLiES House has been amazing! Although seeing one of my exes on a daily basis drove me insane last semester, now I'm feeling much more at ease here. I feel like everyone in the house respects each other and is completely supportive when anyone's dating.
And although Jai [Schock] isn't an official House Leader, she has been a wonderful "Gay Den Mother" to us all. She's a pro at giving people advice on romantic relationships, as well as dealing with an array of personal problems.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment