Frostburg, Maryland is about two hours away from Gettysburg. It's a town a tad smaller than Gettysburg, without a liberal arts college to balance things out in very, very western Maryland. I’ve been there all my life.
“How large was/is the population of openly gay citizens?” If they’re here, I don’t know where they’ve been hiding all my life.
“How accepting were people at my high school?” NOT accepting. Completely homophobic. Frankly, my family and I were concerned that I would be beaten up and alienated if I had come out during high school. Outside of the school, the area’s pretty conservative and homophobic. Given there isn’t even a sizable out population here of “townies,” I would say my town isn’t accepting at all.
I’m not proud of my hometown in the least. In fact, I’m supremely disappointed and truly, truly wish I could have grown up somewhere else.
“Did I come to Gettysburg to "escape" my hometown?” YES, yes, and YES! What kept me going for the past 3 years was the thought of going to college and finally being able to be open and with other GLBT people my age. I know people say that there are very few GLBT students, but compared to knowing NO GLBT students in my high school, Gettysburg is a small paradise.
I didn’t feel safe or comfortable being openly gay in school, and that’s why I didn’t come out there.
Frankly, I hate this town. Minus a few dozen friends and family members, I would be happy to never set foot here again. I tend to get sad and irritated if I’m here too long. I will never live here again. I just can’t… It’s been really hard staying here even over this break [3-week Winter Break]. A huge part of me just wanted to stay on campus and hang out with my international friends. I would have been fine seeing family members and friends for a few days and then leaving. Sadly circumstances prevented me from doing just that.
I’m completely open at Gettysburg. And it’s fucking awesome. I feel totally comfortable in being who I am. For the first time in my life, all my friends know and we can joke about it and everything. It feels pretty amazing, honestly.
9.05.2009
COMING TO AMERICA: From Nigeria to B*More (Adaeze)
Yo, MD peeps! I grew up in Baltimore County but more like the city. I currently live in Nottingham, it's between Perry Hall and Fullerton. I was born in Nigeria and live there until I was three. My dad came over to the US to do his residency and set up everything so my mum and I can come over. We lived very close to the city until my father died when I was 4 going on 5 then we moved to Nottingham and I've lived there for 14 years and going (until I find my own place).
The Nottingham / Perryhall / Fullerton area is basically a Wal-Mart, Giant, some other stores, and fast food joints kind of place. Nothing to do except go to White Marsh mall.
There isn't much of a gay community but I knew some older gay people.
I went to private school all my life. The topic of homosexuality was never really brought up until high school. I went to an all-girls prep school and to me even though the school seemed conservative being a Catholic all-girls' school, it was somewhat liberal in that there were three lesbian teachers. They weren't open about it but they never really hid the fact that they were gay.
I remember one incident when a nun decided to become an “ex-nun,” or whatever the proper term is, because she used the Church to hide her homosexuality and she wanted to be more open about. She resigned because I believe my school was going to fire her because having an openly gay nun at an all girls’ school? Scandalous!
To me, the majority of the school population was pro-gay everything or didn't care because it wasn't affecting them.
Outside of school, I didn't know how accepting people were because there are still racist people who live around my area but they're all on the down low.
I'm neither proud nor embarrassed about my hometown, which is an hour and some change away from Gettysburg.
When I came to Gettysburg, I felt more comfortable not just with my sexuality but with myself as a whole. My family is very boring, and at Gettysburg I can do so many exciting things.
When I visit home, everything goes back to the way it was pre-Gettysburg. I do nothing but watch my family do nothing.
I'm not out to anyone within my family but my mum and my sister. I don't remember if I told my brothers but the oldest wouldn't care because he respects everyone but the younger thinks the "gays" are yucky. I'm still working on getting him to see the light.
Same situation at Gettysburg. I tell people if they ask me but I haven't told a lot of people.
The Nottingham / Perryhall / Fullerton area is basically a Wal-Mart, Giant, some other stores, and fast food joints kind of place. Nothing to do except go to White Marsh mall.
There isn't much of a gay community but I knew some older gay people.
I went to private school all my life. The topic of homosexuality was never really brought up until high school. I went to an all-girls prep school and to me even though the school seemed conservative being a Catholic all-girls' school, it was somewhat liberal in that there were three lesbian teachers. They weren't open about it but they never really hid the fact that they were gay.
I remember one incident when a nun decided to become an “ex-nun,” or whatever the proper term is, because she used the Church to hide her homosexuality and she wanted to be more open about. She resigned because I believe my school was going to fire her because having an openly gay nun at an all girls’ school? Scandalous!
To me, the majority of the school population was pro-gay everything or didn't care because it wasn't affecting them.
Outside of school, I didn't know how accepting people were because there are still racist people who live around my area but they're all on the down low.
I'm neither proud nor embarrassed about my hometown, which is an hour and some change away from Gettysburg.
When I came to Gettysburg, I felt more comfortable not just with my sexuality but with myself as a whole. My family is very boring, and at Gettysburg I can do so many exciting things.
When I visit home, everything goes back to the way it was pre-Gettysburg. I do nothing but watch my family do nothing.
I'm not out to anyone within my family but my mum and my sister. I don't remember if I told my brothers but the oldest wouldn't care because he respects everyone but the younger thinks the "gays" are yucky. I'm still working on getting him to see the light.
Same situation at Gettysburg. I tell people if they ask me but I haven't told a lot of people.
ARMY BRAT: From the Philippines to Baltimore (Nelly)
I'm not from Pasadena, MD. I've lived here, however, since I was 9 years old, meeting James in 4th grade. Before Pasadena, I lived in Glen Burnie, MD from 1st-4th grade. Prior to that, I lived in Virginia for a couple months. Before then, I lived in Colorado Springs, CO for about three years. I was born on Langely AFB in Virginia, and from age 7 months to 3 years my family (then being my older brother and my parents) lived in the Philippines.
To say we moved a lot while I was younger would probably be an understatement.
When it comes to Pasadena, I would have to say "gay population? Not so much." I was fortunate enough to know about three in my grade (James, myself, and John), three above ours (Shelby and her girlfriend at the time, Jamie, and Millie who graduated the year before us), and the handful of bisexuals/experimenters (an ex-girlfriend of mine included). When it comes to how accepting school was... no one really cared. I got my share of snide comments when I was a senior walking with my girlfriend down the hall, but that's pretty much it. Either people didn't care, were oblivious to it, or were just curious and asked me questions out of sheer curiosity about being gay.
There are NO gay bars/clubs in Pasadena! And, at the time, there weren't any 18+ clubs aside from Grand Central when I came of age. And Grand Central was more gay boy/leather than anything for the lesbians. If you were a gay man, you pretty much had your pick in Baltimore (which is about a half hour from here, and there's *no* parking whatsoever). If you're a lesbian? Well... there *was* (as I found out later) a place out in Dundalk whose name escapes me... but they closed April, 2007. And then there's like, Coconuts Cafe, which is pretty much nothing. But I hear there's now an all-lesbian strip club that moves around Baltimore Street. Not that *that's* anything better, but I guess it's something.
However, there is one place I know of that's open to the college crowd: Paradox. The first and third Saturdays of the month are the unofficial/official gay nights for them, or so the gay boys tell me. I've yet to check it out, as the area sort of unnerves me (still in Baltimore).
Support groups? As James mentioned, I did attempt to start up a Gay-Straight Alliance at our school... no such luck, as I couldn't find a committed sponsor for it. And I had to make it a "Multicultural" group, which was retarded and completely lost the meaning. So the Anime Club that successfully started was the unofficial GSA (because, you know, a lot of people who watch anime seem to float around GSA clubs too... and drama.)
I came out because I saw some girl wear a Pride shirt to school one day. So, the next day, I wore mine and was a lot more out about it. Of course, mine said, "I Kiss Girls" as well, instead of just "PRIDE." haha. So I was the Big Dyke on Campus for a while, especially after Shelby graduated.
I HATE Pasadena! Honestly, I want to leave and never return. I feel like I've almost been caught in this dead zone void, never to leave, never to escape. Unfortunately, I didn't know what to do with my life like James did, so I ended up first attending Anne Arundel Community College, and then heading to UMBC. As soon as I graduate with my B.S. in Information Systems and minor in English, I'm gone. To where? I don't know, but it won't be anywhere in Maryland, that's for sure.
Like James said, I feel fine strutting Pasadena. Our group pretty much own the place anyway. Unlike James, I just gave up caring what people thought of me since I moved here, as I've had the crap end of the stick a lot simply because of my height/weight proportions. Sure, it bugs me from time to time, but not as much as when I was little.
I'm as out as I can be wherever I go, even if it were to Gettysburg (sorry I never came to visit you on campus James!). PDA is my pastime, haha! And even if I'm not wearing the rainbows and whatnot, people can tell I suppose. Because I'm one of those Butch lesbians.
I got swagga like that ;-)
To say we moved a lot while I was younger would probably be an understatement.
When it comes to Pasadena, I would have to say "gay population? Not so much." I was fortunate enough to know about three in my grade (James, myself, and John), three above ours (Shelby and her girlfriend at the time, Jamie, and Millie who graduated the year before us), and the handful of bisexuals/experimenters (an ex-girlfriend of mine included). When it comes to how accepting school was... no one really cared. I got my share of snide comments when I was a senior walking with my girlfriend down the hall, but that's pretty much it. Either people didn't care, were oblivious to it, or were just curious and asked me questions out of sheer curiosity about being gay.
There are NO gay bars/clubs in Pasadena! And, at the time, there weren't any 18+ clubs aside from Grand Central when I came of age. And Grand Central was more gay boy/leather than anything for the lesbians. If you were a gay man, you pretty much had your pick in Baltimore (which is about a half hour from here, and there's *no* parking whatsoever). If you're a lesbian? Well... there *was* (as I found out later) a place out in Dundalk whose name escapes me... but they closed April, 2007. And then there's like, Coconuts Cafe, which is pretty much nothing. But I hear there's now an all-lesbian strip club that moves around Baltimore Street. Not that *that's* anything better, but I guess it's something.
However, there is one place I know of that's open to the college crowd: Paradox. The first and third Saturdays of the month are the unofficial/official gay nights for them, or so the gay boys tell me. I've yet to check it out, as the area sort of unnerves me (still in Baltimore).
Support groups? As James mentioned, I did attempt to start up a Gay-Straight Alliance at our school... no such luck, as I couldn't find a committed sponsor for it. And I had to make it a "Multicultural" group, which was retarded and completely lost the meaning. So the Anime Club that successfully started was the unofficial GSA (because, you know, a lot of people who watch anime seem to float around GSA clubs too... and drama.)
I came out because I saw some girl wear a Pride shirt to school one day. So, the next day, I wore mine and was a lot more out about it. Of course, mine said, "I Kiss Girls" as well, instead of just "PRIDE." haha. So I was the Big Dyke on Campus for a while, especially after Shelby graduated.
I HATE Pasadena! Honestly, I want to leave and never return. I feel like I've almost been caught in this dead zone void, never to leave, never to escape. Unfortunately, I didn't know what to do with my life like James did, so I ended up first attending Anne Arundel Community College, and then heading to UMBC. As soon as I graduate with my B.S. in Information Systems and minor in English, I'm gone. To where? I don't know, but it won't be anywhere in Maryland, that's for sure.
Like James said, I feel fine strutting Pasadena. Our group pretty much own the place anyway. Unlike James, I just gave up caring what people thought of me since I moved here, as I've had the crap end of the stick a lot simply because of my height/weight proportions. Sure, it bugs me from time to time, but not as much as when I was little.
I'm as out as I can be wherever I go, even if it were to Gettysburg (sorry I never came to visit you on campus James!). PDA is my pastime, haha! And even if I'm not wearing the rainbows and whatnot, people can tell I suppose. Because I'm one of those Butch lesbians.
I got swagga like that ;-)
EXCESS BAGGAGE: Deep Roots in Pasadena (James)
Although I'm originally from North Kingston, RI, I spent the better part of 17 years in Pasadena, Maryland. When we first moved in 1988, it was a VERY rural town with huge plantations everywhere. However, due to a very low crime rate, real estate values have skyrocketed and it has modernized extensively. It's half-suburb and half-waterfront property.
Growing up, I was not aware that we had an openly gay population, but things changed when I got to high school. Just as I was about to come out of the closet, my closest friends kept beating me to the punch. By the end of my sophomore year, there were 3 openly gay students (John, Nelly, and Shelby), and 3 openly bisexual students (EJ, Mike, Autumn). ALL of us were in Drama Club. XD I'd known Nelly and Autumn since elementary school.
Outside of the school, I don't know of any openly gay adults. All I ever heard about were registered sex offenders living less than a block away from the elementary school. In general, I think that the high school students were much more accepting/enlightened than the older townspeople. I never experienced discrimination in the halls, only from Klan members speeding by in pick-up trucks. My gay friends all made it through high school unscathed. Both Nelly and John were tough enough to express their true, uncensored selves and fight back anyone who fucked with them. It took a LONG time for me to reach that level.
There aren't any gay bars in Pasadena or in any of the neighboring towns. There might be an Anne Arundel County support group a half hour away. Northeast Senior High didn't have a Gay-Straight Alliance. My #1 Lez, Nelly, tried to establish one when we were juniors, under the guise of the "Multicultural Club." Unfortunately, that fell through because there was such a lack of enthusiasm.
All these factors definitely affected my decision to wait until my senior year of high school to come out. I was already friends with all the gay kids and back then, my mantra was "I don't date friends." So I figured, why the hell should I just come out as a SINGLE gay man? What's the point of coming out as a homosexual if you know you won't be having sex? Eventually, I got over that.
I'm not extremely proud of my hometown. It's a black hole. Almost everyone I went to high school STILL lives in Pasadena. It's never going to evolve if the same people and their children keep sticking around. I DID choose to go to an out-of-state school to get away (2 hours away) from Pasadena. Most of my friends either go to the Community College, UMBC, University of MD-College Park, Villa Julie, or Salisbury. I really didn't want college to be like the 13th grade.
I feel perfectly safe strutting down the streets of Pasadena, just as I've been doing since middle school. I finally came out to my family last summer, so now I'm completely comfortable with being out to the entire town. When I go back to visit, I feel a lot more confident, and I feel silly that once upon a time, I was so afraid of what these people thought of me.
However, I think I'm slightly more out in Gettysburg than at home, because I might not be as likely to engage in PDA (Public Displays of Affection) at home as I would in Gettysburg.
Growing up, I was not aware that we had an openly gay population, but things changed when I got to high school. Just as I was about to come out of the closet, my closest friends kept beating me to the punch. By the end of my sophomore year, there were 3 openly gay students (John, Nelly, and Shelby), and 3 openly bisexual students (EJ, Mike, Autumn). ALL of us were in Drama Club. XD I'd known Nelly and Autumn since elementary school.
Outside of the school, I don't know of any openly gay adults. All I ever heard about were registered sex offenders living less than a block away from the elementary school. In general, I think that the high school students were much more accepting/enlightened than the older townspeople. I never experienced discrimination in the halls, only from Klan members speeding by in pick-up trucks. My gay friends all made it through high school unscathed. Both Nelly and John were tough enough to express their true, uncensored selves and fight back anyone who fucked with them. It took a LONG time for me to reach that level.
There aren't any gay bars in Pasadena or in any of the neighboring towns. There might be an Anne Arundel County support group a half hour away. Northeast Senior High didn't have a Gay-Straight Alliance. My #1 Lez, Nelly, tried to establish one when we were juniors, under the guise of the "Multicultural Club." Unfortunately, that fell through because there was such a lack of enthusiasm.
All these factors definitely affected my decision to wait until my senior year of high school to come out. I was already friends with all the gay kids and back then, my mantra was "I don't date friends." So I figured, why the hell should I just come out as a SINGLE gay man? What's the point of coming out as a homosexual if you know you won't be having sex? Eventually, I got over that.
I'm not extremely proud of my hometown. It's a black hole. Almost everyone I went to high school STILL lives in Pasadena. It's never going to evolve if the same people and their children keep sticking around. I DID choose to go to an out-of-state school to get away (2 hours away) from Pasadena. Most of my friends either go to the Community College, UMBC, University of MD-College Park, Villa Julie, or Salisbury. I really didn't want college to be like the 13th grade.
I feel perfectly safe strutting down the streets of Pasadena, just as I've been doing since middle school. I finally came out to my family last summer, so now I'm completely comfortable with being out to the entire town. When I go back to visit, I feel a lot more confident, and I feel silly that once upon a time, I was so afraid of what these people thought of me.
However, I think I'm slightly more out in Gettysburg than at home, because I might not be as likely to engage in PDA (Public Displays of Affection) at home as I would in Gettysburg.
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