EXCESS BAGGAGE: Deep Roots in Pasadena (James)

Although I'm originally from North Kingston, RI, I spent the better part of 17 years in Pasadena, Maryland. When we first moved in 1988, it was a VERY rural town with huge plantations everywhere. However, due to a very low crime rate, real estate values have skyrocketed and it has modernized extensively. It's half-suburb and half-waterfront property.

Growing up, I was not aware that we had an openly gay population, but things changed when I got to high school. Just as I was about to come out of the closet, my closest friends kept beating me to the punch. By the end of my sophomore year, there were 3 openly gay students (John, Nelly, and Shelby), and 3 openly bisexual students (EJ, Mike, Autumn). ALL of us were in Drama Club. XD I'd known Nelly and Autumn since elementary school.

Outside of the school, I don't know of any openly gay adults. All I ever heard about were registered sex offenders living less than a block away from the elementary school. In general, I think that the high school students were much more accepting/enlightened than the older townspeople. I never experienced discrimination in the halls, only from Klan members speeding by in pick-up trucks. My gay friends all made it through high school unscathed. Both Nelly and John were tough enough to express their true, uncensored selves and fight back anyone who fucked with them. It took a LONG time for me to reach that level.

There aren't any gay bars in Pasadena or in any of the neighboring towns. There might be an Anne Arundel County support group a half hour away. Northeast Senior High didn't have a Gay-Straight Alliance. My #1 Lez, Nelly, tried to establish one when we were juniors, under the guise of the "Multicultural Club." Unfortunately, that fell through because there was such a lack of enthusiasm.

All these factors definitely affected my decision to wait until my senior year of high school to come out. I was already friends with all the gay kids and back then, my mantra was "I don't date friends." So I figured, why the hell should I just come out as a SINGLE gay man? What's the point of coming out as a homosexual if you know you won't be having sex? Eventually, I got over that.

I'm not extremely proud of my hometown. It's a black hole. Almost everyone I went to high school STILL lives in Pasadena. It's never going to evolve if the same people and their children keep sticking around. I DID choose to go to an out-of-state school to get away (2 hours away) from Pasadena. Most of my friends either go to the Community College, UMBC, University of MD-College Park, Villa Julie, or Salisbury. I really didn't want college to be like the 13th grade.

I feel perfectly safe strutting down the streets of Pasadena, just as I've been doing since middle school. I finally came out to my family last summer, so now I'm completely comfortable with being out to the entire town. When I go back to visit, I feel a lot more confident, and I feel silly that once upon a time, I was so afraid of what these people thought of me.

However, I think I'm slightly more out in Gettysburg than at home, because I might not be as likely to engage in PDA (Public Displays of Affection) at home as I would in Gettysburg.