JiMBO's Hollywood Screen Kiss [Director's Commentary]

To this day, Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss is still one of my all-time favorite GLBT movies, after Mambo Italiano, To Wong Foo, D.E.B.S, and The Broken Hearts Club, of course. Although I do find it strange that Sean Hayes, the title character, has deflected all questions about his sexual orientation. I suppose, after playing a flamboyantly gay character on Will & Grace, he doesn't want to be typecast in only that sort of role.


In his own words, "Being an actor, the less people know about my personal life, the more open-minded they can be about each role I play." I respect that, so long as he remains an ally to the GLBTQ community; but still, we're hard-pressed to find openly gay role models in A-List Hollywood.


And the two friends I was referring to are Janelle and Alexis. Janelle and I have been close friends since elementary school, bonded together by the fact that we were the only two black kids living in Pasadena. My coming out only brought us closer; she had figured it out years ago and was very supportive. We still talk, she was the first to write essay responses for my project, and last night I helped "Nelly" move her girlfriend into a new apartment. Unfortunately, Alexis didn't take it as well as I had hoped, and she and I have lost touch in the past couple of years. She married her high school sweetheart in Hawaii over the summer, and I wish them all the best.







UPDATE: Sean Hayes openly discusses his sexuality for the first time ever in the April 2010 issue of The Advocate!

The 4th Annual Gender Bender Dance [Movie Transcript]

Do you plan to attend the Gender Bender Dance?

Bryan: Of course!

Alex: Yeah... I guess I could go.

Becky: Yeah, definitely. We always go. It's a lot of fun.
Gwen: Every year.
Kat: Yep.

Jimmy: I'm definitely going to the Gender Bender Dance.

Lyndsey: I do.

Megan: I do plan to, it sounds like it's going to be a lot of fun.

Are you going to dress as the opposite gender?

Renny: Me and my girlfriend are going to switch clothes.

Megan: I plan to, I ordered these really awesome rainbow pants that have rainbow stars on them.

Lyndsey: No, unfortunately not. It's right after work and I get off at 9:30 so I'm just gonna head over after work.

DeLue: Yeah, I think I'll dress up.

Alex: I will not be dressing up.
James: ...Any reason why?
Alex: Because I like pants! (laughter)

Bryan: I really want to, I hope I have time to get some stuff together. It should be fun.

Gwen: Yes, of course!
Kat: Yeah, why wouldn't we? 'Cause half the fun is dressing up.
Becky: And we try to one-up ourselves every year.
Gwen: Makes me worry about senior year.
Kat: I know, we really can't top what we have planned for this year.
Gwen: No. (laughter)

Travis: I kind of get freaked out by drag queens.

Jimmy: Um, sort of. I've got a lot of stuff this week, so I'm just gonna wear this little sign here that says, "THESE BE GIRL CLOTHES," with this little Commie Pirate Drag Queen on it.


(Playing ♫ We Are Rockstars ♫ by Does That Offend You, Yeah?)

It Was A Risky Move... But It Paid Off [Movie Transcript]

Jaimie: From the beginning, the response to the Gender Bender Dance--Most of the ALLiES members were very supportive, but a few were hesitant because the Gender Bender Dance was a compromise and they really wanted a Drag Show. In general, over the course of all four years, attendance has been pretty high. It has ranged from over 100 people in our most recent year to about 300, which we had our first year.



We get people to challenge gender roles a little bit and to be more comfortable with other ways of living, if only for one night. People also get the chance to meet ALLiES and just have a really good time. I think people have a lot of fun at this event, and I hope that we can put it on for several years after I've graduated.

I Had To Dress More "Feminine" For Work [Movie Transcript]

(Playing ♫ Boys Wanna Be Her ♫ by Peaches)

The Boys Wanna Be Her,
The Girls Wanna Be Her...

Katelin: This summer, I had an internship up in New York City at Northwestern Mutual. It was a pretty corporate environment. I couldn't really feel like I could be myself; I needed to wear my girly dress pants and some kind of feminine top--as much as I could get because I wasn't going extreme. It took away a part of me, I felt when I was there. I wasn't able to actually express who I was and what I'm about necessarily.

Every night when I got home, I threw them in the closet as quickly as I could, got on my bull shorts, my "No Bitchassness" Sean John T-shirt, some sneakers, and just go out, go down to the Village, or wherever I might end up going, so I could try and be myself.

It really does take a lot away from you when you can't express yourself as who you actually are and have to form yourself to fit into a corporate environment. Being of a more masculine gender, you can't do that in Corporate America. That's one of the things I found out that I need to work on before I can get myself ready for the job market and find an appropriate place for me to go.

Our Motto Is: "Do What Makes You Happy and Harms No One" [Transcript]

Becky: So pretty much, Paganism is very much about doing whatever makes you happy and doesn't hurt anyone else, really.

Gwen: It's very individualistic, os it's pretty much what you make of it. So morality and ethics are determined by you, most of the time. There's a lot of talk about making "Pagan Ethics" now, but there isn't really an overarching one, aside from "Don't harm anyone," like Becky said.

Kat: I think, even if there were an overarching moral code, homosexuality wouldn't even be an issue in Paganism, just from the nature of the religion.

Becky: And also, there's historically been a lot of glorification of the sacred nature of sexual contact. There's been documentation of hetero- and lots and lots of homosexual sacred sexual rituals and things like that.

Gwen: I think it's promoted in some of them even, in some Druid sects. I mean, every single Druid I met in the U.K. was a homosexual. (laughter) So, that kinda gives you an idea of how prevalent it is. Maybe it says something about Paganism, maybe it says something about homosexuals, the fact that it draws in those types of people, to certain brances even...

Kat: Well, yeah, it's somewhere that you can be accepted and you can practice freely so...

Gwen: And it's majority male too, so... (laughter)

Kat: (laughter) Well, yeah, Druids.

Everything in the Universe Is Connected [Movie Transcript]

Adaeze: Whatever you believe in, it centers you. If you have any problems, you can pray to your god or meditate or whatever to connect to nature. That's what I think, my idea of God is that God is a higher power but God is also the trees, and people are parts of God.

We're all connected in some way, and once we focus on that connection, we can solve all our problems. The ideas of nature, love, and God are all interconnected, and if we all concentrated on that connection, most of the world's problems wouldn't happen, because greed and all that stuff just get in the way. Just let everyone love each other. That's all I like. (laughter)

Everyone, Attack the Atheist! [Movie Transcript]

Jaimie: This one time I wore a pentacle, which is a star inside a circle, around my neck and two people who worked for my high school asked me if that meant I was Jewish! (laughter) And with derisive tones, as if because it meant I was Jewish, that was a bad thing. I'm like, "You're preparing to discriminate against me for being Jewish because I'm wearing a Wiccan pentacle?!"

And here, as an Atheist, I've felt things too. Every time I'll make a comment about--even trying to get religion on the table to discuss, especially religous affiliation in terms of Anti-Gay behavior/using The Bible for things--immediately, I'll be attacked for that. Without even saying anything negative, without even getting there, y'know? I wasn't even given the chance to say something negative! (laughter) So definitely, there is religous discrimination here.

In Retrospect, Getting Married Wasn't The Wisest Decision [Movie Transcript]

Professor Reitsma: I grew up in a very religious environment, which meant I fought very hard NOT to be gay: I got married, had a child, which complicated the whole Coming Out thing. Although I should make it clear that my son's mother was quite aware that I was gay before we got married. ..Yeah. (laughter) And I went along with it because she said, "You can be gay and still be a dad," and I wanted to be a dad, "Well, you can still be gay and be with me," which I thought was actually pretty cool, at the time. In retrospect, that was not the wisest of choices I could have made. On the other hand, I don't regret having my son. It's just, certain decisions have made my life more complicated.

I understand why it's hard for people to Come Out. Growing up the way I did, it was very hard. It meant saying Goodbye to pretty much your whole family and everyone you grew up with. I have no contact with anyone I grew up with, with the exception of my 93-year-old grandmother... who has met my boyfriend. My mother has come around and so have my immediate siblings. But other than that, all my cousins, the whole environment I grew up in, I have no contact with anymore.

The Bible Preaches Acceptance of Others [Movie Transcript]

Paul: So here we are in Christ Chapel at Gettysburg College. I'm gay and I'm also Episcopalian. The Episcopalian Church is actually being ripped apart ironically over the issue of homosexuality: back in '03, they appointed a gay Bishop and that caused a huge rift in the Church.

Personally, I see the scriptures as being--a lot of people impose themselves and their values. Some people will say, "I don't believe gays should be allowed to live in the Christian community," but then, they don't recognize the fact that passages of The Bible accept and encourage slavery or the abuse of women, so I feel that there are a lot of people who are tempted to pick and choose their choices.

As for me, I believe that most of The Bible definitely leans toward acceptance of people and faith in Christ. So, you can look at it either way: you can decide to subverse yourself and try to discriminate against some people, or you can accept most people in the faith of God.

The Adventures of Marina the Monk [Movie Transcript]

Miranda: A long a time ago, in Bitnia--that's in Asia Minor--there was a man who had a daughter named Mary. And one day this man's wife passed away. And he told Mary, "Listen, I want to renounce all worldly things, enter a monastery, and end my life there." And Mary wanted to go with him, but she couldn't because she was a girl and they didn't allow girls in the monastery obviously. But she persisted. So her father had her hair shaved and she dressed up like a boy and went with him. And there she took the name, Marina.


Miranda: She stayed there a number of years and she gathered a lot of learning. She had a reputation for being very obedient and pious and doing lots of good work like healing people. Therefore, one day the Abbot sends Marina to an inn. The innkeeper's daughter, who's already pregnant by some other soldier, blames her pregnancy on Marina.

When her father, the Innkeeper, finds out, he's furious and he goes to the monastery and tells the Abbot, "Look! This monk who's supposedly so pious , he impregnated my daughter!" "What kind of establishment are you running here?" is basically what he says. The Abbot is also furious and he summons Marina and asks him to explain himself. And Marina simply throws himself on the ground and says, "Forgive me, I have committed a horrible transgression." The Abbot kicks him out of the monastery; Marina waits outside the gate and just sets up there.

After the baby is born, the Innkeeper comes and just deposits the baby in front of him and says, "This is the product of your wickedness! Go ahead and raise it!" And Marina does.

Marina's out there for three years. And the monks are very sorry to see their comrade, Marina, out there. They go to the Abbot and say, "How can we just walk right by him without taking pity on him? This is horrible. Let him back in! This has just been too much punishment." The Abbot lets Marina back in. Marina returns to the monastery with the baby and she remains there for the rest of her life. And eventually, she passes away.


When her body is being prepared for burial, they undress the corpse and find out that she's a woman. And they're very amazed and shocked by this. Immediately, the Abbot begs God for forgiveness. He summons the Innkeeper and says, "Look! Your daughter could not have been made pregnant by this man because this man is NOT a man!" The Innkeeper is also very repentant.

So, everything gets sorted out. And Marina, or Mary, is buried with all respect and honor in the monastery.

I've Known Since I Met You, HAVE YOU MET YOU?! [Director's Commentary]

Yes, I'm one of those people who had the pleasure of meeting Bill back in 2005, when he was not only in the closet but homophobic. Like most people, I knew he was gay the moment we met but when I learned that he wasn't anywhere close to coming out, I didn't really try to be his friend. After some humiliating experiences with "closet cases," I found it best to simply avoid them altogether, especially if they poke fun at gays in order to affirm their heterosexuality. Along with the older ALLiES members, I was happy to put the past behind us and welcome Bill into the group during our senior year; he has become extremely comfortable with his sexuality, and I'm proud of him for being honest with himself and everyone else.


I understand Bill's predicament; for most of us, our families have acted as barriers, preventing us from coming out to everyone. In my house, my father didn't show much hostility towards gay people; he just had the attitude that they didn't really exist and if they did, they only lived in segmented parts of urban areas like NYC. Coming from a socially and politically conservative family, I can imagine that he's had a much harder time gaining full acceptance from them. To this day, he still identifies as a die-hard Republican, and I would chock that up to family influence.

The Importance of Being OUT [Director's Commentary]

Sean and I met at the first ALLiES meeting of 2007, and ever since then he's had a Love-Hate relationship with the group; he believes in being discreet about his sexuality and devote most his efforts to other advocacy groups like the NAACP. He and I have had at least one epic public argument over issues like openness, pride, and a responsibility to the community. One year later, we were able to put aside our differences for this interview, and much to my surprise, his views have changed, I found myself agreeing with some of his responses, and we've kept in touch regularly via FaceBook.


Although I would never call it "a sexual decision," I agree that it is important for people to come out of the Closet, not just for themselves but also for the sake of the community. I think that honesty is always the best policy, and Coming Out lifts a huge burden off one's shoulders--no longer having to hide their desires or switch pronouns in conversation.



And as Sean pointed out, being Out does limit your job opportunities, especially if the company and/or its investors are conservative. The sad truth is that in many states, it's still perfectly legal to fire someone because of their sexual orientation. In fact, two years ago ALLiES participated in a letter writing campaign to get the Employment Non-Discrimination Act through Congress.

When You're Bisexual, You're Hated By Both Sides! [Movie Transcript]

Melissa: Definitely, I think it is really important for me to talk about being bisexual, because basically... you're hated by EVERYONE. I've had gay and lesbian people tell me to my face that they would never date me, because they said, flat out, I would screw around with other people. And y'know, I would cheat on them and ultimately leave them for someone of the opposite sex. Which isn't true. So, you kind of get it on both sides.

In terms of Coming Out, I think it's probably a little bit easier to Come Out as bisexual. My mom was like, "Yeah. I knew. (laughter) You went to Gay Camp." (laughter) I think it's a little bit easier, at least in my personal experience. I can't speak for everyone.

James: So, do you think that your mom hopes you'll end up with a man or...?

Melissa: I think, maybe when I first came out, she actually mentioned, "Oh, you know. Maybe it's just a phase," which really pissed me off. (laughter) But I think now she really doesn't care. I think the only reason she would want me to end up with a guy is because she knows it would be easier for me in society.

But my mom is so super open and supportive of me. And she has more gay friends than I do. (laughter) She goes out to gay bars with her friends. So, yeah, she's really supportive. I don't feel at all that my mom is pushing me to end up with a guy.

I Prefer The KINSEY Scale [Movie Transcript]

Beth: You know the KINSEY Scale?

James: M'hmm.

Beth: 'Cause that's more fluid.

James: Yeah.

Beth: Not sure if "fluid" is the right word, but it's not so...

James: Black and white?

Beth: Yeah, (gestures) you're this and you're this. Because that's confusing.

James: So you identify as... "still trying to figure it out?"

Beth: Yeah, like leaning closer toward--I say I'm bi, and I put on my Facebook profile that I'm interested in men and women, because that's the truth. But at the same time, when I say I'm bisexual, I think of other people I know who are bisexual and I think, "Oh, I'm not anything like them."

But then I realize, I'm not much like people, in general. I don't really identify with girls that much--I'm not saying I'm not a girl--I think it's because I have Asperger's and that makes me different from a lot of people. I can't identify or empathize with people as easily, so sometimes I just can't relate to things so... that's probably why it's more strange to identify with things.

Sorry, I'm Not LIKE THAT! [Movie Transcript]

Miranda: So... I'm sort of Out of the Closet, but not really. It's kind of difficult to be fully Out, I guess, because of my family. I'm not sure how they would take it. I tried twice. And both times, I was shot down pretty quickly.

The first time, my mother said, "Oh, you know, it's just a phase. Don't worry about it." So I just said, "Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's... just a phase."

And then the second time I tried to be more serious about it. I said, "Mom, listen. There's a girl I like. We have a relationship." And then, I remember, she reached her hands over the counter and took my hands in hers and said, very seriously, "Honey, I think you're possessed by demons." Which struck me as odd because, well, I go to church more than she does.

And I grappled with it at first but I'm totally comfortable with my sexual orientation now and... I don't know. So, I didn't again after that.

But for some reason, I felt more comfortable Coming Out to my school. So I think, most of my school, at least most of the teachers know, but not my family. And here at the college, well, only a small group of people, meaning the ALLiES, know because I'm not really comfortable letting other people know just yet because I usually try to gauge how they feel first, before I actually say anything.

...Though there was one guy who, I guess, was coming on to me. He wanted to start a relationship and I said, "Sorry, I'm like that." (laughs) So, he backed off but he's cool about it. We're friends.

We Shouldn't Shove It Down People's Throats [Movie Transcript]

Mark: It doesn't say on my FaceBook profile outright that I like men, but it says it in my Music likes. So if people actually want to know more about me, they would read my profile.

James: Wait, what did you say?

Mark: It says in my Music likes, pretty much. Because I like Britney Spears. And a lot of female pop artists. (laughs) But if people ask, I will tell them about my sexuality and I won't deny my sexual orientation.

I believe that the gay community might be better off if we don't shove it down people's throats because this would allow the Religious Right and other homophobic people more time to gradually adjust. So if they get to know us first as people, rather than as the stereotypes being promoted like in San Francisco where they have all sorts of Pride Parades. For some people, that's all they know about gays.

So it'd be nice if they got to know us before they found out about our sexual orientation.

The Importance of Being OUT [Movie Transcript]

Sean: It is essential to be Out. I feel that, especially in today's generation, it's very difficult to tell your friends, it's very difficult to tell your family members but it's important to be Out. Most importantly to yourself.

I feel that "being gay," as we call it, is a lifestyle: it's not just a sexual decision, as some may feel. It impacts every aspect of your life: what job you get, where you live, the people you interact with. So being Out is very important.

It takes time. For some people, it takes a long, long time to Come Out to themselves, so then they can tell the people in their lives. But it's so important to be Out and to be comfortable with who you are and how you're living your life.

I've Known Since I Met You, HAVE YOU MET YOU?! [Movie Transcript]

Bill: OK, so my Coming Out was a little bit later than most people's. I didn't come out until I was 20. It was the end of my sophomore year of college.

I think I've known that I was gay probably since I was 7th grade, because I just kinda knew I liked boys. But I never really want to admit it to myself because I didn't want to be different. And I was also raised in a homophobic household where my dad constantly told me that gay people were less than everyone else, so I didn't want to be apart of that.

So I just repressed it within me until I came to college, at the end of my sophomore year. I first came out to one of my friends here and told her. I said, "I think I'm gay." And she goes, "Yeah... I've known that since I met you. HAVE YOU MET YOU? It's pretty obvious that you are!" So I was like, "Alright."

And I learned to accept myself pretty quickly, so I was happy with that. How I realized I was gay? I had a guy friend who was just my friend but I realized that, to me, he was more than a friend. I was really attracted to him. ...Nothing ever happened but it did get me to Come Out.

On the Gettysburg campus, a lot of people think that it's a really homophobic school but I haven't really had any problems. I'm out to all of my friends here. And I would say that I'm completely Out. If anyone ever asked me, I would always tell them. I don't just volunteer it... without there being a reason for me to tell somebody I'm gay usually. But I would say I'm totally Out.

At home... not so much. Both my parents know but they've asked me not to tell any other family members because, I guess, it'll embarrass them. So I haven't told any other family members.

So yeah, my Coming Out was definitely stressful because I knew it was going to be a tough issue at home. My mom's OK with it now, but for my dad, it's definitely tough for him. So I try to be understanding to the fact that he doesn't really accept it, but it's kinda hard.

JiMBO's Hollywood Screen Kiss [Movie Transcript]

(Playing ♫ This Is My Song ♫ by Petula Clark)

I know why the world is smiling,
Smiling so tenderly,
It hears the same old story,
Through all eternity




During my senior year of high school, I found a movie called Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss, starring Sean Hayes a.k.a. "Jack" from Will & Grace. And I really enjoyed the movie--so much that it inspired me to come out to my two best friends at one of my Halloween parties.



Love, This is My Song
Here is a song,
A serenade to you

I showed them this clip of "The Tuxedo Dance" because I think it's one of the most romantic things I've ever seen on film.

The world cannot be wrong,
If in this world,
There is you.

The Initiation [Director's Commentary]

Well, as you can see, I'm standing in what is now an Overflow Parking lot. In 2005, when I first arrived on the Gettysburg College campus, I was immediately told to report there, but back then it was the Marching Band's Practice Field. I'm pretty sure the College paved over it sometime in '08.


In high school, I had been a prominent member of various Bands as well as the Drama Club, and I cherished the feeling of camaraderie and community I found in those clubs. So it was only natural for me to stick with it when I went to college... even I though I had absolutely NO desire to be a Music major or become a professional Clarinetist. Nope, not for me.


I KNOW, Carson Kressley graduated from Gettysburg! How random is that? Haha, the sad thing is, aside from politician Ron Paul, Carson Kressley (Class of 1991) is the biggest celebrity to come out (literally!) of Gettysburg College. During my freshman year, the college even sponsored a field trip to attend a private NYC party hosted by their beloved Queer Eye guy; President Haley Will, Jaimie Schock ('09), and Hanna Ackerman ('09) were the lucky Gettysburgians in attendance. Apparently, the President got drunk and made an ass of herself at the event... to the shock and awe of ABSOLUTELY NO ONE.


About two months ago, I went back to Gettysburg for the 2009 Gay And Lesbian Alumni reception, hosted by ALLiES. While I was there I had the pleasure of finally meeting someone who had interacted with Carson Kressley during his stint at Gettysburg. His former classmate told us that while Carson was here, he was a quiet transfer student who kept to himself, was not out of the closet, and was not an advocate for Gay Rights. Unlike other people, I wasn't shocked or disappointed... because I had already done my homework eight months prior.


Back in February, I was looking through the SPECTRUM (Yearbook) Archives and I noticed that Carson was not in the 1991 ALLiES club photo... but y'see, that ALLiES photo did not exist! It was a different time, a different political/social climate, and I don't blame him for not being comfortable enough to come out as an openly gay man in college. And for whatever reason, ALLiES was temporarily unavailable and/or insufficient as a support system. As I learned very quickly, in its 24-Year history, ALLiES has always been like a rising phoenix; every 4 or 5 years the group dies out completely only to be resurrected years later by a voracious group of freshmen. In 2005, we were those freshmen.


The summer after high school I often daydreamed about how wonderful college would be, and how I could finally start over with a clean slate, and be 100% honest with my classmates from the very beginning. Undoubtedly, it was a rude awakening when I arrived in Gettysburg only to feel like the ONE gay person on the entire campus. My hometown of Pasadena is a moderately conservative area and yet I had AT LEAST six gay/bi friends in high school. I never imagined that a college campus with students from around the globe would have LESS. It made absolutely no sense to me, so Thank God I met Jai in my creative writing class. Had she not come up to me after hearing my story, The Object of Obsession, I wouldn't have known an on-campus gay community even existed. Back then, it was very underground... literally.

The Initiation [Movie Transcript]

Hi, my name is James. I'm a Senior at Gettysburg College, and this is where our story begins--well, granted four years ago this wasn't a parking lot... but nevertheless, here we go.

I came to Gettysburg College from Pasadena, Maryland. The first thing I did when I got here was join the Marching Band; I had been playing for eight years. However, I was dismayed when I arrived to find that the last gay person to step foot here was Carson Kressley, of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy fame.

Dismayed by the lack of a Gay & Lesbian community here, I threw myself into my writing. After listening to one of my gayer stories, a friend named Jaimie Schock invited me to a meeting later that night. She told me to meet her in the Chapel and I had no idea why. I arrived and she led me down into the basement. And I had no idea where the hell we were going...

(Playing ♫ Over At The Frankstein Place ♫ by Alkaline Trio)
There's a light,
In the darkness of
Every bright life.

The GLiTTER Overture [Director's Commentary]

Hey, Everyone! It's James, the director of There Will Be GLiTTER, and I'd like to offer some Behind the Scenes Commentary on the finished product.

I had such a fun time designing the opening credits sequence! I remember, at the big premiere in Joseph Theater, the room was pulsing with electric anticipation: I'm very proud of the steady, stylistic climb throughout the Overture.

Surprisingly, the idea of placing a Rating card at the very beginning was a last-minute decision. I figured, I wanted to warn/prepare the audience in some way; I didn't want anyone to enter the movie cold. This is why each public screening was preceded by a short oral presentation. I'm a big fan of avant garde artwork, so I used a common strategy known as "defamiliarization," by taking conventional images and subverting them. Thus, the completely fabricated F Rating.


Still on the reflexivity kick, the camera countdown draws more attention to the medium. I wanted people to know that this is obviously a movie, which in hindsight, may not have been the best decision because it separates the viewer from the action. Mainly, the purpose of using that stock footage was purely stylistic. From concept to execution, my mission was to prove that documentaries could be just as stylish as narrative-driven features. I guess I'd describe my style as "neo-glam," a term borrowed from the Glam Rock Movement.

Ironically, the opening battlefield shots were actually the second-to-last shots of the entire shoot. They were definitely the easiest ones since they didn't require busy actors. The biggest obstacle was simply trying to not get arrested by the Gettysburg National Park police; after all, I was shooting various monuments without their permission. Whateva', I do what I WANT!


One special effect in particular, the color isolation, commonly referred to as "The Pleasantville Effect," was fun to create even though it was TE-DI-OUS. I added to effect to my arsenal after seeing a tutorial video at FinalCutKing.com. Overall, I am very pleased with the results. Fun Fact: That tracking shot from outside Albaugh House (then known as the ALLiES Theme House) really was my bedroom window.

Perhaps the most ironic thing about this opening sequence is that I CAN'T STAND that Christina Aguilera song--y'know, the one that says you're beautiful even though you're ugly and gay. >.< But even though I hate the original song, it's undeniable that "Beautiful" has become an anthem for the GLBTQ community. Personally, I've always been bitter about the song's success because the song itself was not aimed specifically at the GLBT community; the music video, on the other hand, prominently features a young gay couple. While browsing @ the iTunes Store, I fell in love with the 2009 "Beautiful" remix, retitled "You Are What You Are." I chose this song as the GLiTTER theme because Aguilera re-recorded the song, this time fully aware of the song/video's impact and importance to the GLBT community.


In terms of wardrobe, I was very particular about my outfit. After waiting two months for my sleeveless hoodie to arrive from 10Percent (aka Fabulous Gay HQ), I finally caved in, canceled the order, went to AMAZON and lo and behold, it arrived less than a week later. It was a perfect fit, and I love using the Pleasantville Effect to isolate the hoodie's bright teal trim.

It all ends with an homage to The Wizard Of Oz: the world around me becomes saturated with color as I jog past the Gettysburg College sign. It's definitely my favorite transition in the entire movie, but once again, it was a complex special effect. It may look simple, but that sequence is actually five cropped copies of the jogging sequence layered on top of each other, playing simultaneously. More than two hours were spent in the editing room trying to work out all the kinks in that 5-second segment.

The GLiTTER Overture [Movie Transcript]

This motion picture is Rated F.
[Playing ♫ You Are What You Are (Beautiful) ♫ by Christina Aguilera]
Every day is so wonderful
And suddenly, it's hard to breathe.
Now and then, I get insecure
From all the pain, I'm so ashamed

You are what are
You are beautiful (You are, You are)
No matter what they say (You are what you are)
You are beautiful (You are, You are)
No matter what they say
No matter what they say, No matter what they do

Everywhere we go
The sun will always shine
And tomorrow we'll wake on the other side

THERE WILL BE GLiTTER

A Glimpse of Queer Life @ Gettysburg College

MAINSTREAM EXPOSURE: It's A Double-Edged Sword (Brett) [DELETED SCENE]

James: What is your opinion of the Showtime shows like Queer as Folk and The L Word? Do you think they are more honest portrayals because they show the ugly side of gay life?

Brett: The Showtime shows are good at dealing with things that are messy. I believe that life is messy at the end of the day, no matter who you are. To me, that's a good thing. But the flipside is, once you put it out in the public sphere--it being anything that's not clean and perky and FRIENDS--then there's this real problem that people start to use those characters as ways to stereotype you. So The L Word just becomes, "Oh! All lesbians do is screw each other... and like, make charts." And so, it's a double-edged sword.

It's interesting to me because I've seen both really good gay & lesbian films that handle those problems well and try to undercut them. The Broken Hearts Club, which is one of my favorite gay films, plays with the stereotypes and is well aware of the limitations and how it can become a type of entrapment. But you have to put it out there, right? Heterosexual, white upper middle class people have the privilege of not feeling like anything that's slight off-kilter is somehow problematic about their identity. And so it's gotta get out there and it has to keep getting out there, so that people just go, "Oh! People have problems." So then it brings on the hope that maybe we'll be humanitarians someday...(laughter) ...rather than trying to treat everyone as discreet categories of why you're disenfranchised.

James: Lastly, I'd like to ask your opinion of the LOGO network.

Brett: I don't get cable. Rather, I don't get LOGO because I have the most basic poor academics package. Yes, so it's actually disgraceful that I have this class on queer media and I have not yet done the time with LOGO. And for that, I deserve to be eternally damned. But I'm glad it's there. Sometimes I get a little worried that it could turn out like the LifeTime network, which had a good potential message (to empower women) but then it has gotten to the point where practically every female character on LifeTime is a victim of rape from her husband.

But I haven't seen the programming on LOGO. I don't actually know, I guess that's my project for Summer 2009. I've gotta get cable that is sufficiently sophisticated, i.e. not in South Central Pennsylvania. Does Gettysburg get LOGO?

James: No.

Brett: Of course not. Yeah, so right now I just get the hetero-normative channels. (laughter)

THE FEMINIZATION OF MEN IN JAPANESE ANIME/MANGA: Jet's A Big, Burly Man Type of Man! (Anime Panel) [DELETED SCENE]

Adaeze: So I picked up a manga (Japanese comic book) and I was just looking through thinking, "Wait. There's sex."

DeLue: And it's being sold in a convenience store! (laughter)

Adaeze: And there are random things happening, so I'm in the middle of the convenience store reading, then my 12-year-old host brother came over, so I was like, "Shit! (puts the magazine away) Hi, how are you?"

DeLue: In regards to the feminization of men, for the most part, that's only in hentai ("straight and gay porn") and yaoi ("boy sex"). In regular anime, you have a representation of men as very masculine, and also a representation of men who are far more feminine. And that's just representing the diversity of people. But y'know, you have people like Jet, who's like this big burly man kind of man... and then you have people like Spike, who are very much not big burly man kind of men. You know what I mean? But when you get into yaoi and hentai, you get much less of the big burly man type of man and more of the much not burly man type of man. Sorry for my... BIG BURLY MAN TYPE OF MAN!

Adaeze: DeLue's going crazy.

Lyndsey: So, DeLue, what type of man are you?

DeLue: I'm a BIG BURLY MAN TYPE OF MAN! (laughter) NOT A NOT BIG BURLY MAN TYPE OF MAN!

Adaeze: You wanna say it one more time?

Megan: I saw you. You were thinking about it.

Adaeze: We should just take a picture of you. (gesture)

DeLue: When you bring this up, you've gotta be like, this person's into hentai, this person's into anime, and this person's into BIG BURLY TYPE OF MAN! (flails) HE'S A MAN TYPE OF MAN BURLY TYPE OF BIRD BIG BIRD--

Megan: Just stop.

Adaeze: Yeah. (laughter)

Lyndsey: You almost said "bird."

DeLue: BIG BIRDY MAN TYPE OF MAN!

Adaeze: REALLY??!

I DON'T DO PHYSICAL INTIMACY: I Seriously Plan To Become A Nun (Miranda) [DELETED SCENE]

I fully support marriage equality, but I don't plan on getting married. I don't really... I don't know. I'm not really into relationships because I have a weird attitude, meaning I'm not a very physical person, so I don't think I'd be able to handle that sort of relationship requirement, I guess.

I love children, but I don't plan on having any of my own, so I'll probably end up teaching... Actually, to be honest, I want to become a nun, which may seem odd but that's something I've wanted to do for years. Yeah... so... Marriage and children are not for me.

NO, WE CAN'T STAY FRIENDS: All My Romantic Relationships Have Ended Badly (Jaimie) [DELETED SCENE]

James: So, typically, what's the usual Cause of Death of your relationships?"

Jaimie: Generally, the usual cause of death is the other person in the relationship. For instance, in one of my major relationships, the other person cheated on me. I ended it there. Usually, I'm the one who ends the relationship because of something the other person did or the way someone was acting. Then again, I haven't had enough relationships to really create a trend. Mostly, it's the other person.

James: Do you typically stay friends with your ex-girlfriends?

Jaimie: NO. Because like I've said, I've had very few relationships, but generally, they've ended badly. I like being in a relationship, I think I'm good at being in a relationship, which means either the other person has to mess up or I have to mess up--but I've been good so far. The few relationship's I've had ended poorly because something bad happened.

ON MY GAYDAR: Not Everyone's OUT Of The Closet (Bill) [DELETED SCENE]

So one really difficult thing about dating in the gay world is dealing with closeted people. Gay people have GAYdar: We know when someone's gay, we're not stupid, we can figure this out pretty quickly.

I had a friend, and I knew he was gay. We hung out a lot and became really good friends and I became really attracted, but he was still trying to hold onto the fact that he was straight. He still is today.

I mean, maybe he is gay, maybe he is not, but it plays with gay people's minds a little bit when they have straight friends who they're attracted to because they can't have them. Although they've made this great emotional connection with them and feel like he/she's possibly their soulmate, they don't even have a shot! And it's really difficult because you can totally fall in love with someone and they're not even the right sexual orientation for you to be together.

So I think that's a challenge for a lot of gay people and it definitely has been a challenge for me at least twice.

THE POINT OF NO RETURN: There's No Reclaiming The F Word (Claire) [DELETED SCENE]

FAG. OK, so I got you, didn't I? I think the role of the F word in our current society is kind of irreparable. Language is something that continues to evolve constantly; it's not something that tends to move backwards.

I think that nowadays the negative connotations that the anti-GLBT communities have created for that word have made it something that we will never truly be able to take back.

It's a lot like the N word. It's considered rude to use that word in pretty much any context and I think that the F Word is viewed the same way by the GLBT community. And I also fear that the word "gay" is moving in that direction. I hate it when people use "gay" as a synonym for "stupid." I know that a lot of people share that sentiment, but then there a lot of other people--even more--who defend its usage by saying, "It's not a big deal" or "Shut up, you're just being oversensitive." And that's really all it takes to move it in that direction.

And that's what happened with a word that started out meaning a bundle of sticks and got to where it is today.


EXTRAS: Click HERE to Join the Facebook Group, The Word "Gay" Is Not A Synonym For "Stupid."

I CAME FROM VERMONT: I Was Surprised At How Conservative and Intolerant Gettysburg Was (Sarah)

I feel like I was at Gettysburg during a really interesting time of transition...I graduated in 2006, just as a large group of underclassmen were starting to be a lot more active in allies and the political scene. I know when I started going to Allies meetings freshman year, there were about 3 other people going and it was all very hush-hush (or at least that's how I perceived it...) and we really had to pull teeth in order to get people to even show up. It seemed like there was still a lot of fear in even being associated with Allies. Coming from Vermont, I was surprised with how conservative and intolerant gBurg was - I know a couple of kids my freshman and sophomore years were getting some really awful stuff posted on their dorm-room doors, etc.

In my senior year, a pretty big group of active and fantastic freshmen and sophomores started to come in and shake things up. I feel like things really took a turn at that point, and Allies became more active and a little more pro-active in organizing events. I haven't really been back, so I don't know how that played out, but it seems like things are getting better...

I WAS KNOWN AS "THE LESBIAN ON CAMPUS": At Least It Was Exposure To Some People (Celia)

I came out my sophomore year and joined Allies right away. There was one or two other OUT students that I knew of.

In college, I didn't really care about being out. I sort of immediately became the president of Allies and did a lot of stuff around campus. People I dated came to school and I held hands with them while we were walking around. I did get a lot of crap from people, but so many people were really supportive as well. It was sad to be known as “the Lesbian on campus”—before people really knew me, that is—but it was nice to know that it was exposure to some people, I guess.

I’m really curious about how accepting campus is now. I’ve visited and it was so nice to have the ALLiES gathering [the GALA Reception] over Homecoming [2007], where I got to meet many of you. I remember doing that once when I was in Allies and we had a couple come in. Always a small group, but it's so nice just to gather and share stories.

I wasn't as politically minded back then- and I really didn't know much about anything at all. I didn't really have any role models as far as learning about politics relating to GLBT issues. Sadly, I didn't do as much with Allies as I would have liked (in retrospect anyway)—but at least it was going and we did a few things... it wasn't until I moved to DC that I learned things and met up with different types of people and really learned more.

I live in DC now—have been here for 6 years. I’d definitely want to buy a house, get married, have children, etc.

IT WAS THE GREATEST COMIC BOOK EVER: It Had Crossdressing and Same-Sex Marriage (Adaeze)

I started out with Japanese manga and anime when I was in 5th grade, I watched Sailor Moon on Cartoon Network. I did not know it was called anime or was Japanese at the time. All I knew was that it was better than the other cartoons on TV. I moved on to watch Yu Yu Hakyusho, Dragon Ball, and Dragon Ball Z on the same channel and watched them uncensored on Adult Swim.

I read my first graphic novel which I thought was the greatest thing ever and read it several times. I still have it and I noticed it had some gay undertones with male crossdressing and male-male marriage. I read my first offical manga in high school, freshmen year. It was called Fake and was a yaoi which is really funny now that I think about it. My first straight anime was Fruits Basket. Manga and Anime really influenced my love for Japan and Japanese culture. It was a major reason why I took Japanese in high school instead of Spanish or French.

I did not find out about yuri until one of my friends told me about it. This was at the time I was struggling with my sexuality and reading yuri, in a way, helped me come to a realization that I'm bisexual. Though I prefer yuri over yaoi because yuri most of the time is drawn to please straight men's fantasy of two women together. There are a few yuri that I have read that actually has a good plotline and goes in-
depth with the relationship instead of straight sex. I prefer shojo-ai ("girl love") instead of yuri ("girl sex") because of that reason but I have read a yuri with a well written plot.

Yaoi and shonen-ai are better written and have developing relationships and multiple situations, it's still written for women because some of the sex scenes are unrealistic, like virgins being penetrated without preparation and saying it felt good when in reality, it hurts like hell.

Overall I love anime and manga because it goes beyond what comics and cartoons offer here. There is even manga about inter-sexed people and lovers with disabilities (they are so cute!). Bascially, there is a genre of manga and anime for everyone but never read shoutacon or lolicon because it has pedophilic content *shudders*

GAY CHARACTERS IN COMIC BOOKS: Why Should The Japanese Have All The Fun? (Kyle)

So this has nothing to do with yaoi, but why should the Japanese have all the fun? There are a bunch of gay superheros and supporting characters in comics, but my favorite is Renee Montoya from the Batman comics. Yes, Batman is my favorite hero but she is kickass. She was also blackmailed into coming out, and her response to another lesbian character from Metropolis (Superman's city) is that “Gotham isn't Metropolis, it isn't San Francisco, it isn't New York.” I like that quote, as paraphrased as it is.

PREJUDICE FROM THE GLBTQ COMMUNITY: HIV-Pos and Transgender Issues (Sarah)

I can't really comment on this in terms of Gettysburg, but I know where I work now (within the HIV positive community in Boston) it seems to be an underlying issue between different groups of people and how they identify themselves. For example, we had a "transgender issues" panel at work, and I was really surprised at some of the hostility we encountered from some of our gay and lesbian members. I had heard/read about this being an issue, but it was weird to see it actualized. I know some of our transgender members have faced a lot of prejudice from within the GLBTQ community simply for how they identify.

I FEEL DIFFERENT, EVEN AMONG OTHER LESBIANS: I'm Not A Femme And I Don't Act Stereotypically Black (Nelly)

I wouldn't say I've felt hostility so much as apathy from the LGBTQ community for personal reasons as well. I'm naturally a quiet person who has some issues opening up and making small talk (probably stemming with being uncomfortable with my manly sounding voice when women want "women"), and haven't felt exactly comfortable in the little group I've come to know.

A lot of it comes from the height/weight proportion, I'm sure, along with my race. I'm easily written off because I'm not an average height/average weight, white, extroverted lesbian. I'm completely different from most of the other lesbians I know on campus, and have been called an "oreo" more times than I can count from the black girls, lol.

Oh my goodness, let us *not* get into my terrible luck in the dating pool! I seem to have found the pattern to be this:
- Meet the girl
- Dig the girl
- Girl gets girlfriend
It's pretty sad actually. Part of it is due to the issues stated above; and, I think, part of it has to do with I'm not on their radar as a potential at all. I can't say much about Gettysburg, but down here in Maryland, and especially at UMBC, it seems the lesbian dating pool is so small half the girls know your ex-girlfriend(s) and the other half want nothing to do with you.

I think more girls are scared of my butch-ness than anything. And being seen with someone who is pretty much gay isn't something they can probably handle. Because I can't change my appearance when I'm comfortable in it.

GAY-on-GAY CRIME: I Only Felt Hostility From Closet Gays and Non-ALLiES Members (James)

Ironically, during my 4-year career at Gettysburg College, I've felt hostility/resentment from NOTHING BUT gay students, for personal reasons. Mostly, I've felt hostility from CLOSETED gay people and gay non-ALLiES members on this campus. I guess they've had cold attitudes toward me because they know that I know that they know... Plus, I enjoy drawing attention to myself and to the cause most dear to my heart: gay rights/equality for all.

I think I'm one of the few GLBT students who doesn't have a problem getting dates, but sustaining a relationship's a whole different ballgame. I've had a few guys mention in casual conversation that they're into a certain type of guy, one who doesn't match my physical description (eg. weight, hair color).

I have a much easier time attracting men back in Maryland than I do here. As a result of trial and error, my potential date criteria has become more and more strict. What can I say? It's extremely difficult to find an out & proud, politically active, respectable guy to date @ Gettysburg College.

I've seen people's attitudes toward me change once they found out that not only was I gay but that I find no problem talking about it. It hurts to see how many "friendly" guys I've scared away because they were afraid of their names being associated with mine.

BLACK, OVERWEIGHT, MIDDLE CLASS, NONRELIGIOUS BUTCH LESBIAN: I'm Attacked From All Sides (Nelly)

As soon as I moved to Pasadena in the fourth grade, I knew something was very, very different from Glen Burnie. Where my class was a nice mix and balance of racial minorities there, it was me... and James. That's it. It only became worse when James and I advanced in our educative careers, for we both were like, the token black kids in the AP classes.

Add to that the fact that I'm female, and the fact that I don't "act Black," and there's a double hit from both fronts. In the dating pool, I've gotten more flack about being a black woman ("Sorry, no black chicks" is a common sentence I see in personals ads) than I have for not acting "black enough" in high school.

Add to that the fact that I am, in fact, a lesbian? Good grief, triple minority there. And I'm not all super excited about religion? Oh, and how about wanting an education instead of getting high at any given opportunity, as well as keeping a steady job? The hole gets smaller and smaller when we get more specific in our minority classifications.

I never attempted to prioritize all the aspects of who I am, because I think they're all equally important and just as telling of my character. However, if I was to list them in order of acknowledgment, it would probably be something like:

1. Lesbian
2. Female
3. Educated
4. Overweight/Cuddly/Muscular
5. Black
6. Middle Class

Whenever I hear about discrimination of any minority group, I respond in kind. Either with passive-aggressive criticism, discussion within Freedom Alliance, or doing nothing. I wish I could afford to donate to advocacy groups, be it time or finances, but I honestly can't.

I consistently attend Freedom Alliance meetings. I go and discuss topics and listen to consenting or opposing opinions. Sometimes I go hang out with them outside of meeting times when I have time. I never tried to attend anything like the NAACP or the Black Student Union, simply because I don't want to, nor have time to. And, I feel like it will be just as disorganized as some other black student organizations, and don't wish to waste my time listening to the latest gossip and arguments that can happen and continue.

I may try it out this semester, though. I might go and see what it's all about, and really take a look into it.

GETTYSBURGIANS ARE PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE: No One Ever Said Anything To My Face (James)

Even though I'm from a predominantly White area (Pasadena, MD), I didn't experience an intense feeling of racial discrimination. The first time I actually realized I was different from my classmates was in the 1st grade when a kid yelled, "You're out, Black boy!" during a heated game of Kickball... my older brother kicked his ass the next morning, and it never happened again.

Other than that, no one has ever said anything racist TO MY FACE. The closest anyone has ever come has been shouting slurs from a speeding pick-up truck. In that sense, there are more outspoken bigots back home than there are at Gettysburg College.

Almost my entire life, I've been a very thin guy and I've been teased relentlessly about it by family, friends, and even strangers. What can I say? I ran track, did gymnastics, danced, practiced vegetarianism, and was constantly training to be stunt double... of course, I'm thin and toned! As the doctors have all told my parents, I'm in optimal health. I've always body image issues and only recently have I told my friends how much their comments (no matter how loving) really hurt me.

Surprisingly, I have never really encountered discrimination based on my sexuality, mainly because I didn't come out until my senior year of high school. At Gettysburg College, I find that everyone, in general, is passive-aggressive and prefers to say things behind each other's backs. I've felt accepted here, mostly because I tried to be upfront and honest from the very beginning.

Not until I came to Gettysburg had I even encountered people from the upper middle class and above. And typically, I don't associate with them because I don't believe that they take their education as seriously as those of us who are here on academic scholarships.

Whenever I hear about some Right Wing idiot trying to take away the rights of law-abiding gay citizens, I get extremely upset and am very likely to join an online protest, donate to an advocacy group, etc. Similarly, if there's been a gay bashing at a school, I will somehow acknowledge it, and bitch about it with my friends. However, when it's an isolated incident like that, I'm not as likely to take extreme action.

As you can guess, I identify myself as 1) Male, 2) Gay, 3) Black, 4) Educated, 5) Pagan, and 6) Middle Class.

I've been an active member of ALLiES (Gay-Straight Alliance) since my freshman year. Jai [Schock] initiated me, because we had Creative Writing together, and one of my stories had gay characters... even though it wasn't made obvious. I'm in ALLiES because I want to do everything I can to "fight the good fight," and make sure that future generations will live in a world of GLBT equality.

I WAS a member of the NAACP during my freshman year, as well. However, the group was extremely disorganized and never got anything done at meetings. Being an anal-retentive person, it really bugged me and I never came back.

I'm also a member of the GAIA Pagan Society, which is a nice forum for people who don't exclusively practice Christianity. It's comforting to have a group where people, gay and straight, can discuss spirituality and participate in religious rituals.

FAGGOT: Why Try To Reclaim It? (Adaeze)

"Faggot" is one of the weirdest words ever! Come on! I do not know how a term for a bundle of sticks came to be a derogatory word for homosexuals. Really, people should stop using the term because it just makes them sound unintellgent.

Also, for those trying to "reclaim" the word faggot, why? Same with black people trying to reclaim the word "nigger" by changing the "er" to "a." Both words have a history of loss, struggle, and pain so why try and reclaim the word when the gay community is trying to fight against the discrimination and win justice and equality? Seriously when the group being discriminated using the same discriminatory words against themselves, isn't that self-hate?

DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL: Initially It Was A Progressive Step... Now It's A Joke (Katelin)

1: I would never join any branch of the military whether I were straight or gay. It’s just not my thing; I don't like war. But to comment on that “Don't Ask, Don't Tell” policy... its completely disgusting that such an act of discrimination has been in force for as many years as it has. At the time, it was a progressive step... but now it’s a joke. "they", whoever "they" are, say soldiers knowing that fellow members are gay will cause a break in unity. This being the case, I applaud any Gay or Lesbian person who is strong enough to withhold their preference, simply to appease the homophobes. That is true dedication to one's country.

2: I went to catholic school for 13 years and it’s not the reason I am an atheist. I was always taught that God is cool with the gays as long as we don't "act" on our urges. It just doesn't add up to me, not that much religion (especially catholic) does add up in my mind. I think if I were religious enough to want to devote my life to god, my sexuality would not hinder my decision. If I was devout, I would truly believe god loves me not for who I lay next to in bed, but the intentions I have of being a morally upstanding citizen staying true to commandments of God... and true ones, not the radical, misinterpreted passages many use against homosexuals.

THE MILITARY IS CHARACTER-BUILIDING: But I'm Not As Strong As Others (Mark)

I would consider joining the military as long as I didn't have to go to war. It would be more for character- and bodybuilding. I would join whether the policy was in place or not because a simple policy will not change the way the majority of the military views the GLBT community. I do not come from a military family and I think it is very heroic of people who come out after their military experience. I could not imagine living a lie throughout my time in the military, but if I really wanted to be in the armed forces, I would sadly choose not to disclose my sexual orientation because I am not as strong as others. Ideally, the general public would not view GLBT persons as sexaholics who cannot control themselves in the homoerotic environment of the military.

I would never be a priest. First of all, I was raised Lutheran and not Catholic. Second, church is more of a personal environment than the military and my personal life may be more open in a religious setting where I am the head of the services. I'm not sure what God's views are actually because so many different viewpoints are out there and it is difficult to figure out which one to believe. People should definitely try to cut down on sinning, not the sinners. No, I would not apply for any faith based position because that is not my interest and I would not feel comfortable as a gay male.

A SOLDIER'S LIFE IS NOT FOR ME: I Don't Take Kindly To Being Yelled At and I Hate To Run (Nelly)

First of all, No. I've been told by my father that joining the military would be a daft move on my part. A few of my friends are in the military right now; they can't wait to get out. I don't take well to being yelled at and hate running, so it'd ultimately be a waste of time on my part. And yet, the Marines were the last to call my house...

I'd prefer to serve the country in ways that I know how to and excel at: computer work is something I'm much, much better with, and helping to protect those that might not be able to protect themselves is something much better.

I think those soldiers who come out after serving are some of the bravest people I know. Because they face repercussions from those they served with, and being ostracized from the life they knew. To think they survived and have to survive coming out later is just something I can't fathom.

Considering I'm not exactly the most religious person on the planet, I would have to say I can't be a priest to something that so blatantly gives a hypocritical stance on homosexuality. I mean, how would others like it if I hated their sins and not them? "Oh, I hate that you cheat on your significant other every chance you get, but I love you regardless!" How is homosexuality any different from any other sin?

More power to those that praise God and live how they live, be they homosexual or not. I can't exactly do what they do, because I don't believe in their God, but if they're happy, that's really all that matters in my book.

I WOULD JOIN THE ARMY: If I Actually Believed There Were Legitimate Reasons For Fighting (James)

As long as the United States is caught up in unjust warfare around the world, I won't even consider enlisting. However, I will try my best to still support the soldiers, because it's not their fault; they're just doing their job, which is to follow orders.

If the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy was repealed AND if I was 100% sure that we were fighting the correct enemy, then of course, I would want to protect and defend my country. My grandfather, father and some of his brothers, were members of the U.S. Army, but members of my father's generation have drawn parallels between the current situation and the ridiculous Vietnam War, and they've convinced me to avoid the military even more.

I think it's extremely heroic and admirable to see soldiers serving their time and then, coming out of the closet not much later. The fact that they not only fought in the military but that they SURVIVED, shows that gays & lesbians are just as capable on the battlefield, and if GLBT individuals are willing to enlist, then why make them hide their sexual identities?

I could never be an official in a religion which viewed homosexuality as a sin. However, I could understand how some GLBT people would want to show their devotion to God. I admire them for having their own interpretation of God's message, instead of bowing down to a holy institution (eg. the Vatican).

Back in high school, a few of my Catholic friends back home were very friendly with openly-gay students, and they would always say, "Hate the sin, not the sinner," as if they were being profound. It doesn't come out and say it, but it implies that you should hate an essential part of someone: his/her sexuality. It's like saying, "I don't hate YOU personally... I just hate that you date members of your own sex." It's very confusing and hypocritical if you ask me.

Even though I'm not a fan of any organized religion, I would love to embrace my spirituality, express my devotion to a higher power, and train for a position in a Pagan (nature-based worship/ritual) sect.

LIVE AND LET LIVE: Gender Should Not Be Confined To Two Boxes (Bryan)

I don’t think anything should be considered inherently masculine or feminine. Masculine and feminine are social constructs, and they vary from culture to culture. It’s ridiculous and supremely arrogant to assume that definite spheres exist simply because it’s easier to categorize than to allow things to remain in the grey, where they should be.

Do I think there is any merit to the ideas of "man's work" versus "woman's work”?
Absolutely not. These constructs are meant to divide the genders; we have far more in common than we have in difference.

I think our society dictates that it’s OK for men to be more violent, that it’s more acceptable than seeing a violent woman. And likewise, it's socially acceptable and expected for women to be the more nurturing, emotional, loving one in a relationship. But it’s all bull. Remove these socio-cultural constructs and let people be who are they are inclined to be without fear of alienation, and we would see a lot more gender variance in issues like these.

How does it make me feel to see people transcending these boundaries of so-called gender-determined behaviors?” It’s awesome! We need to be ourselves. Gender doesn’t need to be nor SHOULD it be confined to two boxes, which most people don’t neatly fit into but feel forced to in order to fit in and maintain face and image.

I’ve always hated sports. Playing them, watching them... it’s all so boring. It’s a bunch of imbeciles running around playing out mini wars and taking out their aggression through a series of silly rules. You won’t see me “protecting my masculinity” by calling anyone out and exchanging insults and blows. I like to look nice. Instead of going out to play sports with the other boys in elementary school I hung out with the girls and played jump rope and hop-scotch. I didn’t really have good straight male friends until my senior year of high school, and I’m still far more comfortable discussing how I feel with women rather than with other guys.

I DO BELIEVE IN GENDER ROLES: I've Taken On The Masculine Role And I Only Like Feminine Women (Katelin)

I’m going to bring some educational information into this because I find it incredibly interesting. I’ve taken 2 Native American studies courses. In native cultures, there are “two-spirited” people, or a third gender. Men could act as women and women could act as men. I wish our culture could be like this.

For me... I do see a natural categorization in our culture. Too bad I’ve crossed these lines. I’m a female who has taken on a masculine role, but I only like feminine women. I believe in gender roles in relationships. I will pay for a girl, I will get girls numbers, I will most likely be the one to propose, blah blah blah.

I’ve always been a tomboy and now I have no problem taking a male role in society. I am an aggressive female. I would never have a sex-change though, I just taking this role on. I feel more comfortable in it.

TO HELL WITH GENDER ROLES: My Hobbies Include Aluminum & Steel, But I Also Love Baking And Ani DiFranco (DeLue)

From a biological standpoint it's becoming more and more apparent that there are real ingrained psychological differences between the sexes at the mental level. When you enter into this argument it must be realized that one is speaking of averages always. For example the portion of the brain which bridges the left and right halves, aiding in tasks which require both creativity and systematic processing, is on average larger in the female. This means that something like translation, which requires a creative understanding of language and a systematic knowledge of the syntax and meaning of millions of words in several languages comes more naturally to females. This does not mean that no man can be a good translator, but rather that there will be fewer male translators than female.

Similarly, an argument for the roles of men and women being somewhat biological can be made from an evolutionary standpoint. We enjoy a lot of freedom today that we did not enjoy in our past. Written history records but a blip in the whole history of "man" and though we may enjoy the ability and right to transcend stereotypes today, this may not have always been the case. Women as the caring mother and keeper of the home may seem chauvinist today, but it was an absolutely crucial role for early man, while the male had to hunt and bring in food.

The argument for why it had to be the man hunting and the woman being the homekeeper is a matter of biology. Average muscle mass and the fact that women were pregnant for the majority of their lives during early history are just two of the reasons for this role being the default for early man. Thousands and millions of years of these roles being vital and essential may well have led to a predisposition for the human race to fall into these roles.

I feel as if I'm playing devil's advocate here, I hope this doesn't ruffle too many feathers.

My opinions on crossing gender stereotypes today is that I am wholeheartedly in favor of it. Now that we have the freedom to make such choices I think it's best for a person to do whatever makes them most comfortable in life. If it blows their gender stereotype out of the water good for them, and if it conforms perfectly then that's equally awesome. I'm not sure how much I conform or defy my gender stereotype. I can almost always be seen in boots and jeans and my hobbies include aluminum and steel, but I do love to bake and Ani DiFranco is a goddess.

Wherever I stand between the archetypes, I would argue that there is a predisposition on the biological level for men and women to conform to their traditional archetypes, but that it is stronger in some and weaker in others, and that this doesn't mean that one cannot buck the trend and be a statistical outlier if it makes them happy.

GENDER IS A STATE OF MIND: Gender Isn't Purely Biological But A Mental Construct (James)

Having taken a Women’s Studies course [WS251: Women & Nazism] for the very first time last semester, I’ve had feminist theory hammered into my brain. I accept the idea of masculine and feminine constructs, but I believe that they’re pure myth based on male and female archetypes. That said, I don’t believe that they are biologically ingrained in us.

There’s extreme overlap between so-called male and female behaviors. The idea of men’s work vs. women’s work seems to only become an issue when a woman is incapacitated by a uniquely female issue (ie. pregnancy). I agree with Nelly when she says that male and female behaviors are not set in stone and definitely are not mutually exclusive.

I, too, love it when people transcend gender boundaries. Moreover, I just love it when people do what isn’t expected of them. My most recent transgression was performing a group Bellydance at the Dance Ensemble’s fall recital. Besides that, I dress up for the Gender-Bender Dance every year, I like baking stuff for my housemates, and I care a lot about how my clothes look on me.

However, I have no desire whatsoever to be a woman. I treasure my masculinity: my love of horror movie gore, my dreams of being a stunt double, my hidden desire to punch my ex square-in-the-nose... I guess it all reminds me that I may be gay but that doesn’t make me any less of a man.

I LOVE GENDERFUCKS: I've Broken Plenty Of Gender Stereotypes In My Day (Nelly)

Hmm... while there are "masculine" and "feminine" energies, I don't really think there's much difference between the two. I especially don't believe there's anything that could be considered exclusive to either category. As for that man's work vs. woman's work... if you think about it, things considered woman's work nowadays were men's work before the World Wars. So that entire idea is pretty dumb in my opinion.

Men act more upon their aggressions than women do I think. Or act upon them in a different way. Women can be violent. Men can be very passive as well. Both genders bring love to a relationship. The difference lies within the sphere of *how* they bring it and how they show their love I think. Women are more open about it while men are probably a little more reserved, as that's what's expected of them. A lot of it is based upon expectations to conform with the norm.

I love it with people are genderfucks! I'm more "masculine" in attire and sometimes in my behavior as well, so I'm a little bit biased to those who don't fit in a little box. I've broken plenty of gender stereotypes in my day: I'm the one my parents turn to when it comes to putting furniture together, as my brother sucks at doing so. I cook, do dishes (when I absolutely have to), clean when I have to, and can fix a computer. I know how to jump a car too.

Being what's classified as a butch lesbian also forces me to break gender stereotypes wherever I go. And to break stereotypes everyone may have about butches.

I SUPPORTED JOHN McCAIN: But I Think ALLiES Should Remain Non-Partisan (Tory)

I consider myself moderate. I am not registered with a party. I did vote for John McCain in this election. I am not a fan of Barack Obama, but he won and I will support him as our President. I do not believe Allies should align itself with a particular candidate. While it should promote GLBT issues, you don't want to drive people away who may support the other side. It's important to remain open and accepting to everyone.

I DO NOT SUPPORT BOB BARR: He Is Not A Libertarian, He's A Douche! (DeLue)

I am a liberal libertarian. Please note that I in no way support Bob Barr, he is not a libertarian, he's a douche. I'm registered independent, but I usually vote libertarian or democrat.

I cast my ballot for Barack and was VERY happy to see Obama win. I ran around campus with some friends like a nut. I believe he will restore respect to our country on the global political stage and bring us into a closer more cooperative relationship with the rest of the world. Though I'm disappointed with his riding the fence on GLBT issues, he will definitely be better in that respect than McCain.

I think whether ALLiES publicly supports a candidate could be a touchy issue. Although we are a group with an obvious focus and should work toward spreading acceptance and tolerance politically as well as socially, a group supporting a candidate for one reason often ends up getting the group associated with completely different things that candidate does. Such associations could be dangerous and counterproductive.

Being a member of allies is a choice and choosing not to be a member should be respected whole-heartedly. It may be a good idea, however, to find out why they've chosen not to join, so that we may broaden our perspective and possibly expand our organization to include a larger proportion of the GLBT community and serve them better.

I am a pretty politically involved and interested person and I think that I would have to date either a fellow libertarian or democrat. Differences in business politics we can debate and argue on an economic basis, but if we differ on social issues, then that could be a problem.

I'M BLACK AND I ORIGINALLY SIDED WITH RON PAUL: When He Didn't Get Nominated, I Switched To Obama (Adaeze)

I'm liberal, but I don't side with a party. I did vote for Barack Obama. In the beginning of the Presidential race, I was rooting for Ron Paul because he shared the same values as I did. I think ALLiES should be non-partisan. I wish more gay students and teachers were apart of ALLiES but it's a choice.

I couldn't be with someone who had a completely different political view than me. I don't mind slight different views on political topics but like Nelly, I don't think I could handle the girl who says "I don't support gay marriage, but I want to marry you someday." come on! That's just stupid.

Ah well, all’s fair in love not war.

I RECENTLY DATED A LOG CABIN REPUBLICAN: She'd Say, "I Don't Support Gay Marriage, But I Want To Marry You Someday" (Nelly)

I think I could classify myself, politically, as a liberal democrat. I'm registered with the Democratic Party. I'm not very political, so there's few issues I care very much for. However, the issues I care most for are: gay marriage (duh), environment awareness, better compensation for educators, more affordable higher education, and loosening the stranglehold on the middle class.

I voted in the most recent Presidential election. I didn't do much to help out in the political process; I simply made sure my friends were registered and going to vote that day. Considering I skipped my night class to watch the results, I was very happy to see Barack Obama won the election. I felt proud of my country for doing something unprecedented; and proud of my age bracket for actually voting.

I don't go to Gettysburg, so I'm not at liberty to answer anything about ALLiES =)

I can answer the last section of questions though!

So... I dated a conservative log cabin Republican recently. It was very aggravating that we were on complete opposite sides of the spectrum. I never actually thought a difference in political views would bother me, but I now know it definitely does. I'm politically apathetic for the most part, but if someone says something hypocritical like my ex did ("I don't support gay marriage, but I want to marry you someday") that's gonna stick with me and bother me for a long, long time. I'm sure I could date someone who's completely apathetic to politics; now, if it lasted would be the larger question.

YOU'VE GOTTA BELIEVE IN SOMETHING: I Could Never Date A Politically Apathetic Man (James)

As much as I’d like to say that I’m a moderate, I’m actually a die-hard liberal and registered Democrat. I care deeply about issues like education, welfare programs, social security, alternative energy, women’s reproductive rights, and of course, gay marriage & adoption rights.

In November, I made sure to cast my ballot for Barack Obama. As Media Coordinator for the Gettysburg Students for Barack Obama, I’d been volunteering for his campaign since the Primaries. In what little spare time I had, I donated, canvassed, phone banked, and registered new voters for Obama. And luckily, it all paid off.

I remember when Obama was declared the Projected Winner, we all piled into Jimmy’s bedroom and watched his acceptance speech. And after walking Hannah home a little after midnight, I saw students flocking to Stine Lake for an impromptu rally, so I joined in the chaos.

For four years, I’ve wanted to see ALLiES join the fight for equality by writing letters, protesting, and attending marches. Unfortunately, we’ve remained nonpartisan and haven’t achieved much outside of our college bubble. I think we should’ve wholeheartedly supported a candidate who wasn’t trying to take our rights away.

Even more than gay Republicans, I just can’t understand how anyone could be politically apathetic nowadays. Part of the reason why I typically don’t date non-ALLiES members is because apathetic gays and self-hating gays make me sick to my stomach. I don’t respect them at all. Not only do they not attend meetings but they never show any signs of real support, like coming to one of our many events.

It’s extremely important that my partner be politically active, no matter what his political views are. I could NEVER be with someone who didn’t care about his own future or the future of his country.

I NEVER WANTED KIDS: But Then I Met Someone And Everything Changed (Katelin)

I’ve been in love, fell out of love, wished I was never in love. I believe in “lust at first sight,” which can definitely turn into love, but I can't say "love at first sight" exists. There is no typical length of time for me to turn something into a relationship. Generally, I prefer becoming friends first, but then again the "friend zone" sucks. It depends on the situation, the girl, and everything else. And usually, I like relationships, but in college, that’s harder because I'm terrible at the long distance thing. So, casual dating is usually how it goes.

Marriage... Yes, sure, I want to get married. All these laws, amendments, and, excuse my language, but BULLSHIT, they have been putting us through is unbelievable. People... it’s the 21st century, why are we writing HATE into our constitution?? Anyway, yeah I've been close to proposing before. Only once, but I guess I should be glad I didn’t since we didn't last. I was never one to sit around planning a perfect wedding. That's Wifey's role.

I use to say, no never, not me. I never wanted kids. Then, I met someone I would have actually wanted to have children with and everything changed. We had the plan that she would have the children. One from my egg, one from hers, and they would have the same father. Sounded like the dream family, I think I want to keep that plan.

I'M IN LOVE WITH LOVE: But I'm Not Meant To Be A Mother (Tory)

I believe in love and I LOVE love. I do not believe in love at first sight (though my sister swears the first time she saw her husband, she knew she would marry him), but I think the first encounter can say a lot about a relationship.

I'm very relationship-oriented...I've never really done a dating thing, only long-term things. I've been in 2 serious year and a half relationships. I loved both of them very much and at the time believed I would marry them.

I definitely want to get married one day, but I'm not the type of person to plan it out before I even meet the right man. I did go to prom in a wedding dress though...

I have no intention of having children. Growing up, imagining my future, I never thought of children as being part of it and I don't think I am meant to be a mother.

KIDS? YES, PLEASE!: I Need Someone Who Wants A Big Family (Adaeze)

Love is what drives me to get up every morning. I'm a super passionate romantic to the T. Not only for a lover but also for family and friends. That's just how I get down. I want to believe in love at first sight, because it does happen but most times, people are only physically attracted to another person that they may like.

I've never been in love but I know that when I do it is when I love the "flaws" in that person and vice versa. When I can argue with my love and some time later make up. I know it maybe impossible but I want a everlasting love that my mother and father had before he passed away. I told my mother that if she wanted to remarry that my siblings and I would support her but she told me that my father was the only man she could ever love. I want to love and love in that way.

Ok. So I've been planning my dream wedding since forever! *squeal*

My wedding will take place in a stone castle in Ireland during the fall season. I love rich royal colors but I can come to a compromise with my wife or husband (if either is into party planning). I want my sister to be my maid of honor. Also I want bridesmaids and “bridesmen” because I have more guy friends then girls.

My wedding dress is going to be form-fitting Victorian-esque with a trumpet skirt, very elegant. The back will be a upside down curved triangle cutout and as the cutout turns into the skirt seam, that seam will be lined with 4 or 5 buttons. The dress will be a strapless dress made of silk and has a lace like design. The top of the dress will be an attached lace (kind of like a lace borelo with a high neck (as seen here).

The after party: I would like an opening speech and couple's first dance but after that, let the party begin! Open bar and buffet!

Oh, I will have a registry for presents because getting 10 toasters, >.<, Epic fail.

All this can change over time (maybe not the dress ^_^) but a girl can dream, can't she? ^.^

Sad reality: more people may show up to my wedding if it’s to a guy, sigh...silly relatives, oh well

Kids? Yes, please! I really want 10 kids (5 girls, 5 boys). I need someone who wants to have a really big family and live on a farm.

If I'm married to a guy, I'll have two kids the “Birds and the Bees way,” but the other eight, I will be adopting because I've wanted to adopt since middle school.

If it is to a woman, it depends, I wouldn't want to go to a sperm bank or shag a friend but if she wanted to go this route then I would be fine with it, but I'm still going to adopt. ^^ Pwease?

A WOMAN SCORNED: I Still Have Trust Issues (Nelly)

I believe in love. I've found I'm more in love with the idea of love than I've ever been with any of my girlfriends. To a degree, I think it's possible to have love at first sight. A little bit of love, yes, but not full-blown, knock you off your feet love. Relationship-wise for me, I've been a whole lot more cautious and wary of whom I let in, simply due to some trust issues I've developed after a long distance relationship gone terribly wrong. So it'll take me a bit longer for me to say "this is something serious" nowadays... which, in general lesbian terms is a few months I think? I dunno haha. It's my nature to be constantly looking for love and commitment actually. I looked it up the other day and my personality type has *that* listed unfortunately! So it's virtually impossible for me to casually date someone (or some people), which is really all I've wanted to do for a long time.

I still don't know about getting "married" some day. I really do like the idea of being with the same woman for the rest of my life, but I've begun to doubt finding that someone who can put up with me and whom I can also deal with for that long. When I was four I told my mom I was gonna marry my best friend someday, so of course I've dreamt of marrying women! And I did love someone enough to consider proposing to her... I gave her a ring and everything to show her I was serious (and had one that matched it too!). Didn't work out though.

My dream wedding? Oh man, it'll be EPIC. I'm gonna rent out a HUGE area, sort of like a warehouse I guess, and the wedding and reception will be one big dance party. DJ Irene will spin for the entire evening and Reverend Run will perform the ceremony! Too bad I haven't found someone down for that awesome-tastic wedding.

I'm still up in the air about kids. Because I honestly feel nervous about them. I've attracted family-oriented women lately (which is hilarious in my opinion... a friend said I just exude responsibility or something that screams "good parent!") so I've been rethinking it, but I'm still on the side of "No." Especially coming from a larger family: I like my space. I like coming home to quiet when *everyone* is gone. I like being able to blare my music loud and have no one yelling at me to turn it down/off. My views can always change about this in the next few years, but right now I'm content with having four big dogs and no kids in my future.

If I were to have children, it'd definitely be adoption. Open or closed would probably be up to my wife, but if the dad's a crazy mofo, it'll be closed. It's definitely important that she want kids, because I'm still iffy about them now and will surely be later on. But, I'd hope she's not so desperate for children that she goes and gets herself knocked up...

I'm definitely down for adoption though, as there are simply wayyy too many kids out there who don't have parents and a home to go home to after school.

LOGICAL PROGRESSIONS: Getting Married and Raising Children (James)

"Love's the only label that matters, and it never goes out of style." You'll have to excuse me, I just finished watching the Sex and the City movie for the 20th time this month! >.<

Well, when it comes to love, I believe there are soooo many different levels of intensity. But unfortunately, it's not an exact science. I do NOT believe in love at first sight. Lust, yes. Love, no. Most of the time when I enter a relationship, I'm fully aware that we'll just get what we want out of each other and part ways long before I even start loving him.

I don't really have a strict time-frame for when liking someone turns into loving him, but I'd say, for me, it takes more than three months. Usually, I can tell if I'm falling hard for a guy when I no longer view his flaws or shortcomings as such and start seeing them as powerful turn-ons, unique only to him.

I've gone back and forth on this next issue, but I definitely DO want to get married someday. When I was dealing with my homosexuality in high school, I sunk into a deep depression once I realized that I was never going to have my "Happily Ever After," I was never going to get married or have children, and I was just gonna live and die alone. ...Let's just say I don't feel that way anymore.

I think that marriage is less of a fairytale concept and more of a practical course of action that two committed adults take, not just for love but also for security reasons. Sadly, I definitely have not loved anyone enough to even consider the idea of proposing.

My ideal wedding would be an outlandish outdoor ceremony in a lush location, probably in Australia or Miami or Los Angeles, and it would be EPIC. For songs, I'm partial to one of Britney Spears' old B-sides, "When I Found You." FAB-U-LOUS.

Once again, it's practical for a married couple to have children, so of course, as a Capricorn, I think raising children (2 sounds like a good number) would be part of our obligation as a married couple. Ideally, I would want to pay a surrogate mother, who would only play a minor role in our children's upbringing but wouldn't be completely hidden away.

It is important that my partner want to raise children, because after a certain point, every relationship has to evolve... otherwise, you're just dicking around. But then again, there would be one loophole: nieces, nephews, godchildren, and pets just might fill the void if my partner was totally against us having kids... or if the process became too complicated or expensive.

YOU ARE SUBJECT TO INSPECTION: My Sorority Sisters Size Up My Dates (Nelly)

I'm more likely the person to ask someone out. I usually tell them through sweet little things like mix CDs or waiting up all night just to talk to them. I normally don't pursue the crushes because, normally, what will happen is I'll be digging the girl and she'll turn around and get a girlfriend.

I usually spend an hour getting ready for dates. I try to look my best and in my top form: hair is just right, glasses spotless, smelling nice, clothes aren't wrinkly, breath is fresh, the whole nine yards. I usually take them out to restaurants or the movies. The traditional first date things. I usually pay, because that's just what I do.

The best date I've ever been on was a random one with my ex-girlfriend: she came down to visit from her school and I took her out to lunch. We spent most of the time talking while she played with my class ring and we wrote little notes on the table to each other.

1st base would be kisses/hugging, 2nd base would be make out sessions, 3rd base would be heavy petting/snuggle time, and home is sexy time of course. I don't really have any general rules for any of them: if we're feeling it, we could go all the way to third base on the first date. Never sexy time on the first date though. I'm not *that* easy.

I can usually tell if she wants to... she'll get this look in her eye and I'm on it. Other times I'll politely ask if I can and go from there. Most times we don't even get to the date, because she's gotten a girlfriend by the time I'm ready to ask her out.

I'm very much relationship-minded, despite recent developments in my personal life. I'm very tired of The Hunt, and coming up disappointed and hurt. It's hard to have faith in love when all you've gotten lately is slaps in the face telling you "You're cool, but I don't want you" from the greater lesbian populous. If we combine the two-times I dated the same woman, the longest relationship I had lasted two years and seven months. That doesn't count the roughly nine-month break we took from each other because of distance.

I know two girls who have been together for the last couple years, and two that are on rocky ground I guess right now? That's about it. I've wanted to try the dating game for a while now, but I know my jealous side wouldn't let me not think about the girl dating someone else as well as me. It's very troublesome actually.

When you're in a sorority, it's hard to keep a date under wraps for long periods of time. So, if the date can't pass sorority inspection, it's not exactly happening, because my sisters are my extended family.

IF the date passes that inspection, then EVERYONE knows within the coming weeks. Especially if we're both on Facebook, because then it has to be published on my profile for the world to know.

I have been in two long distance relationships. With the woman I mentioned prior. I only knew her through the internet, yes, but when we met it felt like we knew each other forever. And I was happy with it.

I can't exactly stay friends with my ex's. At least, not the most recent one, because to stay friend with her would mean she'd be pining over me for a long time and wouldn't be able to move on. I'm on speaking grounds again with the one who hurt me the most, but that's because it's taken nearly three years to get over what happened and to move on. Typical Cause of Death is either I'm not feeling it, she's not feeling it, or cheating. That's about it.